Oh Really?

  ATTENTION: If you are uptight and get squirmish when the word ‘sex’ is mentioned, then this blog ain’t for you.

I felt really compelled to write this because I found this topic to be so fascinating. A friend of mine texted me a link to this online broadcast called “Ask a Black Man” (www.madamenoire.com), where they discuss various topics ranging from the single life, to dating, to ‘the right one’, etc. But there was one topic in particular that caught my attention.

Apparently, ‘Faking it’ isn’t reserved for the ladies anymore. More and more I’m hearing that guys have joined the game too. And quite a game it is. You deliberately trick your partner into thinking that you’re satisfied because you are either: a. tired, b. don’t like it, or c. just not that into her. If there are any other reasons, please enlighten me because this is very intriguing, but very disappointing to hear.

Whether you are a man or a woman, what’s wrong with being honest? Do you really have to play pretend and put on a production in order to spare feelings or to play into your partner’s ego? Consider this, how would you feel if it was the other way around and you found out that your partner was faking it? The honest to goodness key to a healthy and long-lasting relationship is communication. And by faking it, then drifting off to sleep or even going your separate ways after, that key is truly missing.

I highly encourage the fellas to comment on this, but try to keep it as clean as possible.

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6 thoughts on “Oh Really?

  1. Should have been commenting on these blogs long ago, because I tend to discuss these issues with the fellas and my seemingly sheltered female friends.

    For a guy: Why not fake it? Depending on the type of relationship, occassion, and or woman what does she know? A mans ego will lead him to believe he knows it all and let’s assume it true for argument sake. Men tend to have more sexual partners than women because women care what others think of their “Active List.” So a womans been with few guys, she knows nothing about her body other than what the men she’s been with have told her. Some lie to get the goods, so now she believes she has the best and wettest cooch this side of Woodward Ave. Another man gets at that ol thang and things just are not right.
    She cannot get wet, has hairy legs, wolf pussy (yea the hair down there gets out of control), stinky pits and or vaj, pretends to be a lincoln log, sounds like wendy williams, or says something really awkward. The reasons are many and vary. IMO, if the guy cares he’ll attempt to learn her right and communicate things to her. Should he not care, he not only does not care about the woman, he is also selfish and only out to get off. Though I had a friend tell me most assholes/jerks Phuck better than nice guys/those who care.

    What if she knows her stuff and her body well? Then it’s him, he is faking it to throw her off his coming quick. Then there are those times he’s hard as adamantium steel, but because she prolongs four-play too long his member now resembles a spaghetti noodle, Rain Check. OMG, then there are times the woman goes too hard and breaks the penis. She’s on top and cannot tell the difference between a rodeo and the penny machine outside meijer.

    I have done it myself a lot of times, but what is essential is the vibe. If things just seem/feel awkward find your way out of it. If it feels funny it probably is for her too. If your not faking it for an awkward and unspeakable reason you can talk your way out. Use humor, works for me.

    • First and foremost, thanks for your comment and shedding some light, CP. Secondly, I literally laughed out loud when I read this post. You make a lot of sense though. I can see if a man is not committed to the woman, then who cares about pleasing her (hypothetically). That man is just trying to get his. Or if she (or even he) has failed the whif test, then that definitely makes sense. But if there is a relationship involved, then that’s where I see the problem. But like we’ve both said, that’s gotta be communicated. If she’s riding you too hard, then tell her to slow down. If you’ve had enough foreplay, tell her that you’re ready to cut to the chase before it’s too late. A lot of times couples make assumptions and assume that our partners know what we want and we can’t because we aren’t mind readers.

      • Sacrifice?
        Ever been in a relationship where all was seemingly right, but in the bedroom? How long do you endure? You think to yourself, things can change…she’ll stop being bad in the sack. She’ll shave more often, she’ll stop making noises like a cat, she’ll ge that surgery to remove that extra appendage.

        How long do you “fake it” for the sake of happiness? As huge as communication is in relationships, others place value in different areas. Should you have a huge sex drive your in trouble, though the lesser the better. I personally have gone close to 2yrs with a partner who was bad in the sack, just played tetris in my head. Ha!

  2. Not only did I love your post Klove but I enjoyed the banter and comments between the two of you….beautiful and insightful….and eye opening to the other gender…..and us ladies thought we could take all the credit for acting lessons….(although deep down I’m pretty sure I have witnessed one or two of these so called men “fakers”….good stuff! 🙂

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