The Bermuda Triangle

  Some men and some women are equally crazy in regards to this topic, and this is something that has puzzled me for years. Now, this question is only for the mentally unstable. Umm… when your man or woman steps out on you (or you believe it to be true), why do you attack the other person? And by attack, yes I do mean physically, as well as verbally.

Yes, I understand why a person would be upset at both parties, but guess what? The third party is not the one who is committed to you! How about confronting the person you are in the relationship with and getting to the root of the issue of them cheating? Or even just dropping them?

The whole idea of confronting or attacking the third person, I believe, has to do moreso with ego, jealousy, and pride. “How dare you try to take my man away. You may have had him for the night, but he comes home to me.” Yeah, right after he’s finished.

Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve gotta be smart about this and mature. Although it may be comforting to put someone who needed it in their place, you’re going about it the wrong way if your sole mission is to hurt a person who has nothing to do with you. If you think your relationship is worth saving, you would go to the source. All this keying the other woman’s car, fights, threatening phone calls, etc. are for the birds. Grow up and handle your business as mature adults. Talk it out as a couple.

Thank you and good night.

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12 thoughts on “The Bermuda Triangle

  1. C’mon Son!
    Folks confront the Third Party for a number of reasons. Dig this, I feel vested within any relationship.
    I put in Time
    I put in effort
    I I more than likely put her on game with a wide variety of different things and raised her up in some way. Not to say I was better than her, but to mean I shared myself/ my world in a way she wouldn’t be the same and visa-versa. Generally there is an understanding that when I give of myself I’ll get back what I put out (it’s in the contract you sign when we date). RECIPROCATION.

    Anywho, so for her to step out and me not to react would be extremely difficult. I have acted out in the past and that was on me.
    ***Que the Story***
    Stopped by her crib to find her missing and a car in the driveway I’ve not seen before at her crib. It wasn’t her parents or siblings, who’s could it be? Maybe I was trippin, could be a cousin from out of town. I figured let me investigate to be sure. So I went up in the car and looked around (did not break in, it was unlocked) and my spider senses were tingling. Instantly I smelled the devils lettuce and that sparked my ire even more. By the end of my search I had enough evidence for a full hour show on Law and Order or Cold Case Files. I knew the guys name, his address, his height and weight, shoe size, ethnicity, employer, he was a smoker of weed and what else…you guessed it, newports.

    (At the time I felt as though she was mine and dude was violating straight up and down. ONLY way it could not be the Third Parties fault is if they had no prior knowledge about you.)

    I left after my search only to return later when they returned. I had called earlier and was told some BS lie about her not feeling well and her taking a nap, when in actuality she was at the mall. Her not knowing that I was just at her crib and that I knew something was up. I rang the doorbell and she approached as though she had something to hide. Her pops came to “try” and stop me from entering, he and her both looking at me as though I was someone who had just moved into the neighborhood to report me being a sex offender or something (I’m not a sex offender, just an example). Already feeling a little hurt that amped it up some notches them treating me different, and had me wanting to phuck ol boy up as his car still sit in the driveway, and some Air Jordans in the door way. Knew he had to come out the house at some point and I was prepared to wait.
    Or maybe I’ll just sit outside his crib and catch his unsuspecting butt on his end since I have his address and all, knowing what I knew he was going to get got some way. You see when in the heat of the moment nobody thinks clearly. Me getting in my car and us having eye contact as I pulled out told me all I needed to know about her, I mean us.. Her eyes conveyed uncertainty and fear with a lack of concern for me, her boyfriend.

    Jealousy, nah wasn’t feeling any of that.
    My ego was whooped out of me as a kid, so I haven’t possessed that in a long time.
    Pride, well the fall never came. So I was able to hold onto that.
    Betrayal is what’s felt. If folks are able to walk away with a clear mind and address it later they’d be better off. We don’t learn that till we’ve been through it, been released from jail, or ponied up cash to pay for whatever we damaged.

    Learn what to fight for and when to walk away. Love=Mentally Unstable because what the heart is feeling interrupts common sense the brain is spitting out. Maturation is of no relevance, that’s why we see folks 2x’s our age still fighting over their mates.

    Apologies Klove for the lengthy response, I have lots of stories.

    • I appreciate your comment, CP; lengthy or not. I definitely understand where you’re coming from. You can’t really know how you’re going to react until you are in that situation and sometimes your feelings/heart gets the best of you. But my thing is, your mate was the one that betrayed you. Yes, of course the other man’s presence affected you and made you angry, but it was her that caused all of that. You didn’t know at the time whether or not he knew about you, so you can’t 100% say that he disrespected your relationship (if he didn’t know she was in one to begin with), but she was the disrespectful one. The whole point of this blog was to get an idea of why a person would want to go after the person who’s not committed to you. Naturally it would feel good to hurt that other person, but ultimately, your mate is the one who should be punished.

  2. Your right, I did not know whether he knew or not. Though after finding out some information like that you just have to look at yourself in the mirror and say, “Is today the day I go to jail and risk potentially being raped?” Arguing with her does nothing, and I don’t want to know her reasons for doing such. At the time of finding out you just physically want to take out your frustrations, and the guy would be the target.

    Why would you want to know, and what could it possibly change?

    As for how it ended….i tried to get that old thang back. She’d come by once in a while and we’d chat, I’d even put my tongue on that thang of hers to make her weak. The effects eventually would wear off and I grew wiser. It just hit me at some point that she wasn’t worth my time, and then it took some more months to convince myself i made the right choice. She was what was hot at that moment, and other opportunities were presenting itself on Blackplanet and Myspace. Long way away from a pen and paper at the mall, but my social network grew and she became a distant memory.

  3. Sometimes it is not that simple. Yes, there are some women who take things to the extreme. However, there are times when we try to be nice and understanding. You didn’t know, but now that you do, fall back. . . I was just in the situation recently, and I tried to be an adult. When a man tells you he cuts off all contact with you and he wants to work things out with his girl, you should respect that. However, after John had sex with this woman for 8 days she is a psycho and should be blamed. It has been over 5 months since he had contact with her, and she continues to text him all the time. She shows absolutely no respect or regard for me and my family. I am still handling things as an adult, however, I blame her for being relentless. . . If I wasn’t so much of an adult, I would have knocked her out some time ago. All I am saying is, many times the OW is far from an innocent victim in the triangel. . . JMO. . .

    • In a situation like that, Ariella, she’s either trying to get a confrontation (begging for attention and hoping to get some from either you or John) or she’s seriously mentally unstable. You did the right thing, but there’s some reason she’s still hanging on. Tell John to block her number so he won’t get anymore texts or calls, then she will really get a clue!

      • LOL, we have blocked so many different numbers. She keeps obtaining numbers from a text free website. I refuse to block the last one, I don’t want her to think she is bothering me.

        She is crazy, I know they have had no contact. Most wouldn’t believe that, because she still is hanging on, but I know there aren’t. You can also tell by the tone of her texts. . . She is crazy and a pain in my a–. Truly relentless. . .

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