I heard an interesting topic on the radio earlier that I felt needed to be blogged about. Shacking up…plus children…plus unwed. Whatever happened to our old school values? Remember the lil nursery rhyme- “(So-and-so) and (so-and-so) sitting in a tree; k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, second comes marriage, and then comes a baby in a baby carriage.” Nowadays, everything’s all ass-backward and our old school values are almost nonexistent. The topic was not covering just your basic unwed couple who are living together with children, but moreso, a single parent having their mate move in without marriage.
I have two main issues with this particular scenario:
a. No marriage.
b. The values you are setting for your child or children (especially if you are a single mother with a daughter).
Let me break it down. Part A- I learned in a class that I took in undergrad years ago that the majority of couples who decide to cohabitate before marriage usually do not end up walking down the aisle. Sure, it’s great to see how you will live as a couple before marriage as a sneak preview, but what happens if you get a little too comfortable? What if one person thinks that the relationship is leading to marriage and the other party doesn’t have that goal in mind? Now, if you aren’t planning to get married at all (both parties agree to this), then this situation would not be a problem for them. However, you still have to deal with Part B.
Part B- Let’s focus on the children for a minute. Parents are the best teachers a child can and will have (once again, I refuse to talk about sperm and egg donors when I speak about “parents”). Kids soak up everything, especially when they are young. Mothers, if you have young daughters and you think that it’s okay to have men parading through your house, or you meet a guy and five seconds later he moves in, you have been sadly mistaken. What if your daughter sees this behavior and thinks that this is what should happen in a relationship or when they have their own children? When you are a parent, you have to put your children first and think about what they might be seeing, because what they see shapes who and what they become. How are you going to explain to your children that it’s okay for daddy to lay up on a woman, but your daughter should never allow that? Let’s just be conscious of our decision making skills, especially in regards to our children.
What do you think? Do you think it’s okay for a single parent to have their girl/boyfriend move in? Please leave a comment.