Friends First

  What’s the point of being in a relationship (or friendship) if you don’t even like the person you’re with? How does a relationship get to that point? You overlooked some things? Some things that didn’t bother you before nag you to no end now? You ‘put up’ with it before and now you want them to change? What it all boils down to is the very beginning of the relationship, even before there was a relationship. Let me explain.

Relationships work best when you start off as friends before you enter a committed relationship. By the time you commit to this person, you already know what kind of person they are- are they a true friend, do they listen to me, do they let me cry on their shoulder, would they stand up for me if need be, etc.- their likes and dislikes, what makes them tick, and so on. You are comfortable with that person and you are building something even bigger and better. The intimacy is much deeper between two friends than a couple who met in a club and a week later they are each other’s boo thangs.

Communication is a huge part of a relationship. Can you really talk to (I mean really talk to) a person you would not consider a true friend? The closer you are to a person, the more likely you are to share your inner most secrets, desires, and dreams.

Later on in life, you would want to spend your final years with someone you love. Looks would not be number one on your ‘must have’ list anymore; it would be intimacy and closeness. And that’s when the friendship skills really come in to play. Is your relationship complete with a genuine friendship?

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4 thoughts on “Friends First

  1. Practice. Seems shallow I know, but I started off liking the women. And before long figured it wasn’t going anywhere, or there where just some things I could not grow past with them. I had some words thrown at me that hurt at the time, and I set out to remedy them by dating/practice.

    I had to learn to be more affectionate, show appreciation, put forth actions to match my words, and show direction in my life. Pretty big deal in the dating world and I could not progress without fixing myself.

    I do not subscribe to the whole friends before relationship tag. If I’m attracted enough to a woman I would rather start the relationship once we are on the same accord. Waiting to become friends is so cumbersome, just call it what it is because your going to learn about the person anyway. Besides that’s how guys get painted into that corner, she says “So what are we,” in hopes for that title. So irritating.

    I guess things could work how you wrote, though I have never tried. I don’t think many of my female friends would date me after being friends first. Not too sure how serious they would take me, because women I date are treated a bit different than my female friends

    In majority of my relationships, within 3 months of knowing the person were usually in a relationship. Or I had to wait for them to get out of whatever relationship they were in to get my shot. Weird?

    • One thing that I would like to clarify, CP, is the whole concept of being ‘friends first’. What I was trying to say is that during the dating period, (or some people often have a mate that they are truly platonic friends first and then grow into something else) you should become friends first as you get to know one another in order to build onto the relationship and make it stronger. You should never just jump into a relationship without knowing the person you’re with. Once you get to know that person and consider them a friend, then take the relationship to the next level.

      I do agree with you about practice. Practice makes perfect. You’re going to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince or princess, which I think is a good thing. You learn from your mistakes, learn what you do and don’t like in a mate, etc.

  2. I get what your saying, just never applied to me and so I was wondering why go that route? It has never applied to me which is why I don’t get it. Maybe I’m inpatient in that regard, because someone I’ve known for some years and never dated….I’m not interested in dating them. Weird?

    LMBO @ Frogs, I’ve had some of those and slugs.

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