Archive | June 2012

False Advertisements

  Now everyone has heard the phrase, “It’s too good to be true.” Well, believe it. In this day and age, people have upped their game in perpping and get upset when they are called out about it. Let me describe two different subjects with the same type of deception: advertising for events and dating.

Advertising

Whether you get emails about the latest party, meet and greet, networking type of event or simply receive a flyer, for the most part, if the ad was done correctly, then the event looks very enticing, right? True. However, if it is like any of the networking events I’ve been to within the last year or so, let me just say, I want my money, time, and energy back. You spent all that time and money into the flyers that you forgot to live up to your ad? Let me give you an example. For instance, you have a business affair on a college campus. Okay, cool. What’s not cool is the fact that you have one small pitiful sign up in the parking lot, but none showing your guests where to find the building that is hosting the event nor a host/hostess for that matter. And don’t even bother asking about the décor. Those attending had to fend for themselves as far as finding out where to go.  The actual workshops and information given were excellent for the twenty of us that showed up for the free event. Another example, if you have your gala in a four or five star hotel, I expect quality. Wouldn’t you? But instead, I see folks anywhere from classy, to ballroom, to straight off the beach, to hood rat, to pimps and prostitutes. Where did they go wrong here? You might want to assert a dress code. Throw in a couple of examples of do’s and don’ts. Maybe a couple of pictures for all the visual learners. I say all this to say, be real about what you’re advertising. Don’t hype something up and you can’t deliver.

Dating

Whether you meet someone in person at a local coffee shop, online, or through a mutual friend many times people are not what they seem. It seems like more and more there is some sort of catch. I will give you two scenarios. You meet a guy online that has some very nice pictures, great smile, has a degree, no kids, etc. etc. You agree to meet up to see if he really is a match and you ask a simple question like, “What do you do” and your answer is, “Well right now I sell weed and,”- wait, what?? Or you look someone up on their Facebook page and it says that they have kids and when you ask them about it and they deny it saying, “That’s my sister’s son” even though it says ‘daddy’ underneath the picture. WTF?? Do us all a favor and just be real with yourself and others. If you have children, get out of denial and admit it. If you didn’t graduate from high school, quit saying that you went to Morehouse. If you are over twenty-one and still selling, either kill yourself or get a real job. Life would be so much easier and less drama-filled if you were more honest.

So what did you learn today…keep it real in all aspects of life whether for business or for pleasure.

Body Over Mind

On the way home tonight, I was listening to a song that I really like by Jill Scott called “So Gone”. The chorus says, “Why does my body ignore what my mind says?” and that got me thinking. Interesting question, Ms. Scott.

If I were Sigmund Freud, I would easily respond by saying that ‘Your id is acting up.’ “Id”, according to Freud, is the unconscious process that we all have as children, or preferable infants. It’s all about seeking pleasure- not now, but right now. So like in the song, you end up in bed with a person you have no business with; you turned the volume off on your mind and decided to give in to the pleasure principle and use your body.

If I were R. Kelly, I would just as easily tell you that ‘I don’t see nothing wrong’ (you know the rest).

But let’s get back to the original question. Why do people mute their superego (their conscience) and go with what they know they shouldn’t? Do some people not have a conscience? Believe that they’ll figure it out later? Make up a lame excuse for their actions to downplay what they’ve done (for example, ‘I needed a stress reliever anyways.’)? Or do some people just not have the self-control? And on the flip side, are there times where we should mute our conscience?

What is your opinion?

Disclaimer: I will not be answering this question, but more so looking for other’s answers and viewpoints. Also, sorry for the psychology lesson;)

Spring Cleaning

  Summer begins around this time next week, but are you truly ready for it? Spring cleaning goes beyond your typical cleaning routine (ex. cleaning out your closet, donating your unused items, cleaning your house, etc.), it also includes cleansing yourself in general.

When I speak of “cleansing yourself”, I mean cleansing your life, body, and soul. Are you holding on to something or someone that you know you shouldn’t? An ex, a jerk you’re dating, baggage, regret, shame? It’s time to move on and cleanse. When you hold onto all of these negative thoughts, emotions, and situations, that effects your health, social life, and your overall happiness. Below are a few ways to cleanse yourself. Even if you are currently drama free, you can still enhance your well-being by engaging in a couple of these here and there.

1. Exercise- self-explanatory.

2. Meditation- for the people who actually know how to be quiet and be by themselves for a minute.

3. Pray- you can overcome any and everything with God on your side. The words ‘stressed’ and ‘blessed’ don’t go together, so which one are you?

4. Massage- full body, back, or even just feet, it doesn’t matter. All are extremely relaxing and once you learn how to really relax, you can zone out your troubles.

5. Communication- find someone to talk to or talk it out with the person who actually caused your stress. But here’s the thing…don’t dwell on it! If you are going through a break up, for example, your ex should not be the sole topic of conversation for two months straight. Get A Life!

6. Facial, pedicure, or a makeover- also self-explanatory.

7. Get rid of the stress makers and steer clear of them for good (ex. If you dump someone, don’t keep going back and keeping in contact with them. How do you expect to move on?).

8. Bubble bath- you can even jazz it up with some scented candles and soft music. Just soaking is so relaxing, and much like a massage, your mind can wander to another place more soothing.

9. Wine- not a bottle, but a glass to unwind.

10. A comedy movie- laughing is healthy for you and can turn your whole day around. Next time you’re in a bad mood, pop in Harlem Nights and then see how you feel afterwards. I guarantee that you won’t be thinking about ol’ what’s-his-face.

11. Changing your hair style or even just adding some color could brighten up your day.

12. Retail therapy- shopping for a new wardrobe can just as easily lift your spirits.

What are some ways you like to cleanse?

The Art of Seduction

  The art of seduction is not a new topic, but rather an interesting and building topic. Even the greatest seducer in the world can stand to learn a few more tricks- nobody knows them all. The whole purpose of stimulation is to please someone else (or yourself, if you’re a person who gets your rocks off pleasing others), to learn about the other person (their likes and dislikes, craves, and loves), and naturally, to feel good about yourself. Admit it, you get the big head too when you do something right for your mate.

So for this article, I want to look at how each of our senses are effected when we are seduced and what you can do to arouse those senses. Feel free to comment and share your own techniques and thoughts.

TOUCH- Just a simple touch such as a light brush on the back of the neck can send a shiver up the spine. Touch is a powerful sensation within itself, because that one simple touch, could be just as good or maybe even better than a back massage. I read years ago that a man who can’t keep his hands off you is a person who is definitely into you and I totally agree with that. Touching is absolutely necessary in foreplay or just plain ol’ affection.

Examples: Gliding the tip of your fingernail (make sure your nails are neatly filed, no one wants to get cut- that’s far from attractive), a feather, tickling, a pat or soft squeeze on the derriere, kiss, etc.

TASTE- (I will keep this very PG.) Taste could range anywhere from kissing to food sampling (feeding each other with or without foreplay). For example, if you tease your partner a lil with one of those chocolate covered strawberries from Godiva or Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, and then they bite into that plump, delicious strawberry… OR your partner lets you have a taste of their Cheesecake Factory cheesecake, which is a bite of heaven… . Let’s just say that taste could be every bit of foreplay and can definitely get you in the mood.

SMELL- The way a person smells could immediately turn a person on or off. Nothing beats a person who recently stepped out of the shower and then they upgrade their natural fragrance to a splash of your favorite cologne or perfume. A way that this could go horribly wrong is if your person doesn’t bathe on the regular or they bathe in the cologne or perfume. Keep in mind that a person who smells good feels good.

Examples (for women): Live by Jennifer Lopez; So in Love by Victoria’s Secrets; Amber Romance or Endless Love (body splash) by Victoria’s Secrets.

HEAR- Sometimes sounds are an aphrodisiac. For sleepers, the sound machine often relaxes you and helps you fall asleep quicker. In the bedroom, certain songs could play that could immediately get you there. Keep your stereo close by, or just blast it so it can be heard.

Examples: The whole Rated Next Next album, “Moments of Love”, R Kelly’s 12 Play and TP2 albums, etc.

SEE- Nude, nightie, role play outfit, boy shorts, a chiseled chest- whatever floats your boat. Keep your mate’s favorite outfit handy, so when it’s time to play, they’ll know. You don’t have to wait for a special occasion to pull it out. What are you saving it for? You’ll never know if there will be a tomorrow. So live it, wear it!