Why Is It So Difficult?

   Why is it so hard for people to make friends after college? Is it because we like our close knit childhood friends better than meeting new people? We get comfortable and can’t even picture someone taking their place. Are we too afraid to let people in? Some people get territorial. They believe that they can only have one best friend or maybe just a few and that’s enough. Years ago, I read something that stated that on average, people have three close friends. Now granted, I don’t know if they specifically meant three same sex friends or not, but think about it. When you hear the word ‘friend’ do you have at least three people who automatically pop into your mind? I think that that writer may have been onto something.

Can we not make new friends because we don’t get out much? You seriously have to be involved in something to meet a new friend. Whether it be school, work, church, gym, etc. Not only are you two involved in the same activity, but you also have to strike up quite a few conversations in order to maintain contact and develop something. You can’t just meet someone that day and say, ‘Yeah, let’s exchange numbers so we can hang out this weekend.” Um…no. I don’t know you and I’m not handing out my number to strangers.

So, what are you missing when you close your mind off to meeting new potential friends? You miss living your life. Sometimes friends are only there for a season or a certain part of your life. For example, sometimes you lose touch after you move away from them. You need to have that option of going out with someone, talking to them for hours about your issues, or crying on their shoulder. For guys, you need someone to watch the game with or hook you up with their girlfriend’s friend.

You also miss out on sharing a part of yourself and vice versa. Maybe you never thought someone could ever understand what you’re going through, until you meet your new friend who either embarks on the same journey or has someone close who has. Sometimes it feels so good to unleash your deepest feelings and secrets to someone without them judging you. Now granted, I wouldn’t suggest this at the beginning of a new friendship, but only when they have become a good friend. All in all, I think that we should all try to open our minds and our hearts to the possibility of a great friendship developing. Even though you may have three true best friends, there’s still room for plain ole friends.

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