The White Lie

  “Do I look good in this?” “Am I good enough?” “What’s on your mind?” Is there ever a good time in a person’s relationship to feed your mate a little white lie? Do you believe that sometimes it’s better to lie than to tell the truth or is truth truly the best policy?

Acceptable

What could possibly be acceptable to lie to your partner about? Maybe you don’t have the to heart to tell them that their gut is hanging over their jeans. Or you hate their favorite shirt. Their feet are jacked up.  You hate their mother.  I get it. Sometimes you choose to spare your mate’s feelings. Or you tell them about some things, but choose to not tell them about others for fear of bringing out a laundry list of complaints. Fine, but make sure that it’s small and very insignificant.

Not Acceptable

There are numerous things that should not be lied about and that should be discussed. For instance, if you knowingly passed someone a STD and denied it when confronted, you’re wrong. Or you lie and say that you’re happy with your partner and you’re totally miserable. “That’s your baby,” Chris Rock stated in a comedy show that that’s women’s biggest lie. Well ladies, don’t blame a child on whomever you want the daddy to be. But if that’s true, then one of men’s biggest lies are, “He ain’t mine!” Be honest with yourself and others. When it comes down to serious matters, don’t try to lie your way out of the situation. There’s obviously a reason why you’re there. Talk it out. Not everything can get swept under the rug.

What were some little white lies that you’ve told?

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21 thoughts on “The White Lie

  1. When any tells a lie in any form white or little or minor it is a form of non truth you accept about yourself. I lived inside my mind I believed I was more than I was.. I carried an ego full of lies.. When death came so did the truth.. since then I can’t lie for it is a path to an ego of self destruction.. I sat and thought about this after reading about it.. and for the past 5 years I am lie free… reborn so to speak.. but I have been lied to and that is painful in itself when it happens and the truth comes through.. when you don’t lie you can always see the truth can’t you? hmmmm you just realize the energy behind the lie more completely and are able to forgive much more simply! Interesting post my friend!

    • Thanks, Clark Kent. So now I have a question for you, if you don’t mind. Since you have been lie free for the past five years (congrats, I truly admire you for that), if someone you’re in a relationship with asks you something that you believe they don’t want to hear for fear of their feelings getting hurt, do you respond in a brutally honest way or do you let them down gently? What’s your secret?

      • Being honest never means being confrontational, nor does it mean you can’t do so without a great feeling of deep love to embrace you both. You realize you have a greater responsibility when you are embracing someones ego or genuine feeling or the thoughts about the feeling of self. It takes patience, forgiveness and stillness. If it is something that could hurt someone it is best to seize it now no matter what the moment consist of as you will need to make room for a new moment to come. I removed a thought process that speculated an outcome so without fear it never leads to emotional pain as it never leads to being honest without love.. love is more present in any form in this way.. it is as it is!

  2. So you’re saying that if the truth were to hurt the other person, it’s best to get it out in the open as soon as possible. Love, respect, and personal responsibility would be greater.

    • Isn’t that more love than it’s opposite? If you are truthful with the person you are in love with wouldn’t this allow them to see through you rather than you playing a role of some type? If you see through yourself you will then be able to connect at a deeper level! Fear always keeps this very thing from happening. Yet one white lie is a lie nonetheless and will be one lie after another to give it a life of it’s own. You have allowed the darkness into your relationship and any light that is in place will be painful as it is exposed. This is a cycle of pain, it will continue as long as you have enabled darkness inside you to be in the dark to your love. Is this what you are saying is ok? Do you really love this person? Do you love yourself? Aren’t you dooming the relationship with any lie? Is it worth it to be in pain that you could have prevented in your honesty?

  3. I am human. I lie.Colorful or black and white, I lied basically to escape from whatever was going to or about to happen that was worse than the lie itself.yes. I am talking about the truth that could have made life hell. So, I lied and somehow I became a story teller. Anyone ask me a question and I had to response, a look on my face and my lips , would tell my husband that I was lying..so he mastered the art of identifying that I was lying. Each time he asked me, I said yes I did lie and no thats not a lie.

  4. I had a lover who lied constantly …. when absolutely cornered he would say he wasn’t lying but protecting me from the truth!

    I think of myself as a fundamentally honest person …. but I do lie sometimes… eg: at work I have told my staff that forthcoming changes were going to be exactly what we needed for the future when I really didnt believe that …. or to my kids telling them to work hard at school or they wouldnt get a decent job when I just didnt work at school at all but have a fantastic high paying job now.

    I just helped my son fill in an application form for a multinational chain and one of the questions was “I never lie” and I made him tick the box DISAGREE …I think a bit of honesty around that question might go a long way 🙂 x

    • That question on that application was a trick question! Lol Good answer! And as far as telling a ‘little white lie’ to your children about their future, in my opinion, is acceptable, in order to give them that push. If you tell them, ‘ Who cares if you finish school. You can get a six figure job with no hard work in school or working up the ranks’ then that’s what they’ll shoot for. Thanks for your comment, Kay BeeBee.

  5. I’m going to side with th e idea of totaly honesty in the most special and important relationships. (Other relationships – no, of course not.)

    My motive for this is really simple. A lie, no matter what the reason behind it, creates a distance. And internatl dialogue that differs from the shared, and possibly profound communication between you and the one you love. I think the difference in that dialogue is more damaging and more harmful than any truth could be.

    If you are well-aligned, then the things that would hurt your partner aren’t things that you actually feel. Does that make sense? You actually smile when you see the sag of a love handle and it makes you want to touch. When your lover speaks for 20 minutes about a topic that bores the hell out of you, you may announce at the end that you now get to bore the hell out of them for 20 minutes and there is a joyful agreement to do so.

    And, when real conflict happens, the honesty is so deep that it brings you back together.

    • That’s an interesting way to think about truth and honest. I like the “creates a distance” part, because it really does. When you tell one lie, then you’ve got to tell another to cover that one up and so on until you are far away from the truth and your mate. Thanks for your comment, chaotican.

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