Have you ever experienced a break up with someone you genuinely cared about only to turn around and date someone who you couldn’t care less about? Is it ever okay to date this type of guy or girl? The type that I’m referring to is the ‘Just Because’ date.
These are the rebound people, so to speak. These are the people who are there to basically get used in however you see fit. For example, if you feel like hanging out with the opposite sex…get your ‘Just Because.’ If you’re feeling frisky, get your ‘Just Because.’ Whether you want to admit it or not, everyone has dated someone who didn’t have too much purpose in their life or you even made excuses as to why you had ANY type of relationship with this person.
Is it wrong? Not necessarily, but that depends on how you use your guy or gal. For instance, if you call them up and whine for them to take you to expensive restaurants because you’re hungry or whine about needing a vacation and you ask to be taken to a five star spa resort in Hawaii, then yes, this is wrong. You’re just being a gold digger. Flat out. On the flip side, if you genuinely enjoy their company, attend free events (and paid), are okay with having safe casual sex every now and then, and can hold down a decent conversation, then I don’t see the problem.
The ‘Just Because’ date can also be used (semi-appropriately) for dating practice- as long as both parties agree to a casual relationship. This set up cannot work with couples who take this situation seriously. Sometimes a person needs companionship. Sometimes people are extra vulnerable after a break up and seek some cuddle time from someone other than their ex or even a kiss or two. These are things that you can’t get from your friends, so who else should supply it? Just Because! I’ll be damned if I were to break up with someone and ask one of my girlfriends to come over because I need to be held. Um…no. Not the same. No thanks.
As with every relationship, there are two major cons with this type of relationship; one of you catches feelings, and the tough break up with your ‘Just Because.’ Some people (and not just females either) simply cannot turn their emotions off. After a while, you begin to believe that the relationship has turned into just that, instead of what it is- an as needed partnership. So feelings get involved, then comes clinginess, then come jealousy, which equals a huge mess. Breaking it off can also create a problem since they’ve been there for you in your time of need. The only time this doesn’t become a hot mess is if both of you find another outlet, if he or she was too cool to give a damn whether you’re there or not, or you both end up in a committed relationship.
So, all in all, if you have a ‘Just Because’ or you ARE the ‘Just Because’ be careful. This could be an ideal casual situation where you can just have fun and not take things so serious, or it could lead down a path of hurt feelings, jealousy, and greed. It’s your choice how you want to work this, but make sure that you and your partner are on the same page.