Archive | May 2013

Not Like That

cartoons kissing photo: KISSING SMURFS thSmurfs.jpg  Teenage years, maybe. But when you’re in you’re late twenties and up, you should’ve had plenty of practice and should know how to kiss. Part of the art of seduction is knowing how to kiss (and where to kiss…but that’s whole ‘nother topic). Here are some of the worst kissing errors a person could make. If your actions have made the list… Stop it!

– Around your mouth and even your chin is wet: Why couldn’t you find my lips? What does my chin have to do with it?

– Each kiss is a small dry peck: What’s the point?

– You lick faces: Umm… this is not a kiss and I need a shower after.

– Your tongue just lays there: Nobody’s tongue should be camping out in my mouth. You must have a purpose.

– (On the flip side) Your tongue is overactive: Calm down. Kissing is no longer pleasing or sexy if you feel like this is a race.

– Eyes wide open: That is just creepy and so not sexy. Close your eyes. I shouldn’t feel your stare.

Any kissing horror stories that you can add?

Those 3 Little Words

closed mouth  When you’re little, it was so much easier to say those three words. Why? Because it was what you were supposed to say or sometimes even forced to say in order to rectify a situation. You break something- “Sorry.” You slap somebody (accident or not)- “Sorry.” You hurt someone’s feelings- “Sorry.” And everything goes back to normal and the situation is solved.

As you mature, “Sorry” just doesn’t cut it. First of all, if you’re grown and are still handing out meaningless ‘Sorrys,’ then that’s all they are…meaningless. What hurts more- hurt feelings or hurt feelings with a side of a fake apology? Those three little words, ‘I am sorry,’ are very powerful, when they are used in a genuine way.  They are also one of the hardest three words to say. Part of the reason is because you are either admitting guilt or admitting that you were wrong. And who really wants to do that?

What makes an apology truly genuine is the manner in which you say it. I learned years ago that the majority of communication is the way you say something. For instance, I bump you, and as I keep walking, snap and say ‘sorry’ while I’m also holding a phone up to my ear. Would you take me seriously? What about if I bump you and stop, put the phone down at my side, look you in the eye and say, “I’m sorry. Are you okay?” What’s the difference? Let’s start with body language. You look the person in the eye and face them in order to effectively communicate. As you face the other person, you aren’t distracting yourself with the phone, your grocery list, or anything else. You focus. Verbally, don’t just throw out a ‘Sorry,’ because that really tells me nothing. When you take the time to tell me why you are apologizing, then I will listen and take the conversation seriously. “I am really sorry. I didn’t mean to bump you, but I wasn’t paying attention and I was in a hurry. My fault.” One last pointer, an apology plus a dig at the other person does not make it genuine…it makes you an ass. Don’t say, “I’m sorry for not paying you back on time. I would’ve given you the money back quicker if you weren’t such a nag.” I no longer accept your apology.

Manners go a long way, people. If you’re at fault, fess up but be genuine about it. Keep your apology if you don’t mean it. It’s like digging the knife in deeper, and nobody likes a faker;)

Top Eight Cheap Dates

pennies  With the economy the way that it is, you can’t go on shopping sprees, eat out every other day, and keep up with the Joneses like you may want to. Money is tight, I get it. But there’s no reason for you to not have fun. So if you are trying to save a little money but still want to go out (or not) and enjoy yourself with your sweetie, there are some things you can do without breaking the bank.

1. Movie night: Whether it be Netflix, downloading a movie, or even finding one on cable, there is plenty to watch and plenty of cuddle time during the movie.

2. Picnic: This romantic gesture is sweet, as long as it’s not worn out.

3. Festival: Summer, Spring, and Fall are the best months (of course), because not only do you get out and about, but you also get some exercise to go along with your fun.

4. Walk: The majority of problems couples face stems from communication. Here is a great way to have some alone time with no distractions- no phones, no TV, just you and your sweetheart.

5. Candlelight dinner or BBQ: Cooking together is a cool way to bond and grow closer. You get to know what each other likes, experiment, and of course spend that one-on-one time.

6. Bowling: Step up the bowling experience with a little wager; for instance, whomever wins gets a massage.

7. Drive-in: Get a two for one movie deal, cuddle in the car, and get comfortable with the snacks you would’ve snuck into the movie theater anyways.

8. Game night: Pick some of your favorite games and play together. If you’re feeling more social, invite another couple or two over.

What would you add?

Whose Booty

legs2Some people can and some cannot have sex with someone without attaching feelings. The ones who know what time it is may have others or simply enjoy being single (let’s hope these bed hoppers are single). The ones who take things more seriously often leave the ‘relationship’ with hurt feelings. There’s nothing worse than being left in the dark about someone who maybe a potential somebody.

So, what are some clues that you are only a jump off? Here’s a list of subtle to obvious hints that tell you that you are being used.

+ You get calls only at night or in the wee hours.

– You don’t get called for casual conversation very often at all.

+ You don’t meet any family or friends (on purpose).

– You’ve never seen their house in the daytime, or vice versa (you may not have seen them in the light either).

+ You do more calling than they do.

– They mostly text sexually explicit words and/or pictures instead of conversations.

+ They ask ‘How are you’ only out of common courtesy. They really don’t care.

– They don’t discuss feelings (unless it has to do with how they felt sexually).

+ Cuddling and talking afterwards is most likely out of the question.

– They don’t want to know anything about you.

+ You don’t know where they live (maybe only the city).

– You can forget going out with them. You won’t be going anywhere in public together.

Have you ever fit this description?