Archive | June 2013

Invite…Rejected

unhappy  Your relationship is going pretty smooth. You found someone who shares common interests, who is kind and listens to you, so what’s next? You passed the three month mark? Check.  Your friends met them? Check. Your friends approve? Check. Your parents met them? Check. Your parents approved? Denied.

Though the situation is common, there is no one-size-fits-all solution. When your parents hate who you are with, whether they are vocal or not, about your relationship- it makes your relationship that much harder. I’m not going to argue about who knows best between an adult and a parent, but what I do know if that sometimes other people (in general) see things that we don’t see.

When you are in a relationship, especially in the beginning stages, we think that everything about a person is great. {For future reference, I always use a three mark rule. Not necessarily the no sex rule that Steve Harvey promotes, but I know that it takes me at least three months to tell whether or not I truly like a person.} During those first ninety days, you are even more vulnerable to over look things and let some things slide. Friends and family often have that other type of vision that sees through the possible B.S. that we can’t.

My advice to those who are in that position is to hear out what others have to say (not everyone, but those who have your best interests in mind), and weigh out the pros and cons of what they are saying and determine the merit behind it. I’m a firm believer of everything happens for a reason. For instance, if all of the family and friends you introduce your new squeeze to gets a bad vibe…everybody can’t be wrong. However, if your friend doesn’t like your boyfriend because he’s really ugly, that’s their problem. Really consider the motive behind your family or friends telling you about not liking your boyfriend/girlfriend, and also consider whether the stress of not being able to share your happiness with someone who is close to you worth the trouble.

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The End

curtains  Besides the obvious, “I don’t want to see you anymore,” there are some other ways to call it quits without even saying it. Here are some ways that could lead to ending your relationship in a passive and/or aggressive way.

– Cheat…  Especially when it’s repetitive or it’s with a close friend or family member.

– Hit… One would only hope that if a person is getting abused, they would leave the relationship before it’s too late.

– Emotionless…  It’s one thing to cheat in a physical way, but when your heart is given to another or you are void of any positive feelings towards your man/woman, it’s a wrap.

– Steal… When you can’t even trust a person to keep their sticky fingers to themselves (wallet, TV, coffeemaker- you get the picture, anything that’s not tied down), it should be a done deal.

– Lie… This goes hand in hand with stealing. You can’t trust a person who constantly lies about any and everything.

– Dislike…  You could just plain ole not like someone.

– Disrespect… This is when you take the mama jokes too far, belittle your partner in front of guests, or hit on others in front of you.

What else could you add to the list?

Not Your Daddy

father“Indescribable love”, “a greater sense of responsibility”, “nervousness”, and “makes u want to be a better person,” are words that describe the feelings of the birth of one father’s daughter. Notice the word father is used here instead of dad. There is a grave distinction between the two and I believe that fathers should be celebrated and recognized, instead of dads and sperm donors.

First and foremost, let me define these two terms. ‘Dad’ and ‘sperm donor’ can almost be used interchangeably. A ‘sperm donor’ is just that; not there physically there, and even when confronted, is in total denial or flat out doesn’t care about his child(ren). A ‘dad’ is a sperm donor who contributes when convenient. For example, he has ten children and brags about them, but does not take care of them or see them; or he enters his child’s life when something significant happens in their life.

A father simply cannot be confused with the other two terms. A father takes care of his child(ren)’s needs- physical, emotional, and financial- without court or anybody else asking or begging them to. A father wants the best for his child. He does what it takes to keep his family happy. A father talks to his child(ren), and is genuinely interested and involved in their child’s life. A father makes his child(ren) a priority. And a father spends time with his child(ren) and does not babysit them.

So, this coming Sunday (and other days too), let all the real men who are fathers know how important they are in your life and to society as a whole. There are way too many dads out there who aren’t handling their business and allowing women or the justice system to raise men. If you are a father, keep doing what you’re doing and I truly appreciate you!

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY

Would You Ever…

risk  When listening to the news or even just surfing the internet, you will come across some stories that seem so unbelievable that you will either be grossed out, it spurs conversation, or makes you feel really normal. So my question is, in the following situations, would you date this type/kind of person.

Would you ever date a person who…

– Cross dresses?

– Had a sex change (while you were with them)?

– Had a sex change (before you met)?

– Had a homosexual relationship/experience (if you are heterosexual)?

– Is a sexual predator?

– A drug abuser?

– A woman abuser?

– Has a sexually transmitted disease that you can’t get rid of?

– Is currently married?

– Abuses children?