Archive | August 2013

The Way Things Were

1328112400AQSleL  Remember when you were young (or younger) and didn’t have a care in the world? The only thing you had to focus on was walking, then learning how to read, then finding friends to play tag with you. Only, when you’re that young, you want to be grown. You can’t wait to get your own place, drive with your friends to no place in particular, and get money (not make- getting a job is for suckas).

Now that you are grown, all you want to do is go back to the “good ole days.” Come back with me for a minute.

Remember …

+ Playing Super Mario Brothers on your Nintendo system…that huge gray box.

+ Playing tag and freeze tag with all the neighborhood kids.

+ The tv with the big knobs that made a loud clicking noise every time you turned it.

+ What? What’s a remote, much less a pager??

+ Cross Colours- oh yeah, you remember those long brightly-colored shorts!

+When you were actually scared of your parents.

– What I don’t miss is those biker shorts. Yeah, unfortunately I had a couple- one was hot pink and the other was black with a green stripe on the side. Now how I remember those details but not what I did yesterday is beyond me.

– Fanny packs: Damnit people…if you aren’t participating in sports, let the fanny go!

– Big poofy scrunchies. These died slowly. R.I.P.

What do you miss about your youth?

Feels So Good

peace  Not everybody can afford to go on vacation every time they feel stressed. Can you imagine living life without a care or worry in the world? That would be the day. Here’s a list of twenty things that can make a person feel pretty damn good.

+ A warm blanket

+ Watching your favorite movie

+ Pay day

+ Being with family and friends

+ Being at peace

+ The beach

+ Laughing

+ Going to sleep after a long day

+ A massage

+ A sincere compliment or thank you

+ Shopping

+ A new outfit

+ Being able to pay your bills

+ The first bite into Cheescake Factory cheesecake

+ Walking on the beach with no shoes on

+ A promotion or recognition of your hard work

+ Food to die for

+ A great drink

+ Finishing a good book

+ A passionate kiss

What would you add?

Wait…here’s a bonus…a hug from someone special or someone you haven’t seen in a while:) Have a great end of the week!

Single N’ Shy

bouquet  Being single definitely has its perks. No one to answer to or check in with. Go out and go home whenever you feel like it. Roll over every inch of the bed without someone being there. However, there are some benefits to being attached, especially those times when you are single…shy…and going to a wedding.

Below are the top three reasons single ladies hate going to weddings. {Disclaimer: This does not pertain to the newly single women who are celebrating their freedom or the too busy to care about dating women.}

#3. No dance partner… When you are shy like me, you aren’t going up to any man to ask him to dance. On the other hand, you realize that you are at risk for getting asked by the ugly drunk cousin across the room. So, find a friend and stick to them like glue.

#2. The invitation alone… Now you feel obligated to search high and low for someone to accompany you. Do I invite the guy I’m casually dating? I have NO ONE who is wedding worthy! Nobody says that you have to go with a date. Family is not off limits (unless they can’t hold their liquor…then they just ruined the party and you are now associated with the party killer).

#1. The bouquet toss… This was the worst. For years I was literally dragged out into the middle of the floor to catch somebody’s stupid bouquet. I hated it. Now everybody and their mama knows you’re single. So what should you do instead…either grin and bear it because you LOVE the bride, or have a sudden urge to go to the bathroom. Whichever one you choose, make sure you choose wisely (and don’t blame me if you make the wrong choice;)

On The Side

shh  “You can have a piece of my love.” Guy boldly released this 1988 song, “Piece of My Love,” which described a sexual relationship on the side. Is this type of relationship truly satisfying for the chick or the dude on the side? Of course the person in the middle is having their cake and eating it too, but what about the one on the side. How do they interpret the relationship and themselves? This is why I even bother asking.

If you have ever been in the position where you had to fight your mate for their attention because you thought they were cheating (or they actually have been), I’m sure you’re wondering why I would even want to know the other side of the story. But there’s a reason for everything.

My initial thought would be, why would anyone want to settle for second best? But there are a couple of reasons why.

a. Gain- Financial, social, emotional, etc. The Side Piece (SP) uses the person to get whatever it is that they are lacking, whether they truly need it or not.

b. Loneliness- SP needs to feel the warmth of somebody, or really anybody that will provide it, without regards to who they may be with.

c. Need drama in their life- One of those types of people that need a lot more spice in their life than the average person. SP likes the thrill of almost getting caught or perhaps even wants to in order to one up the girlfriend or boyfriend.

What this all boils down to is selfishness. There’s a reason as to why people get involved in an unavailable person, but what do they think of themselves for doing it? In this case, I believe that you have two types of people.

a. You have the smug. Smug Sally gets a kick out of sleeping their way to something (whether it be to a better position at work, to getting better gifts than wifey, to being wisked off to Hawaii). This is the same person who gets joy out of knowing that she can spill anytime and ruin the family.

On the flip side…

b. You have the nervous. Nervous Nancy would probably kill herself if she got caught. She has bad nerves, but her partner is her weakness. She knows that it’s wrong and she feels hella guilty, but can’t stop…just…yet.

I’m not here to say what is right or wrong, but a clear conscious provides a much better sleep. One thing that I will say is that Side Pieces don’t get love, they are just convenient. Smug Sally might enjoy using others, but it’s really her that’s getting played.