On The Side

shh  “You can have a piece of my love.” Guy boldly released this 1988 song, “Piece of My Love,” which described a sexual relationship on the side. Is this type of relationship truly satisfying for the chick or the dude on the side? Of course the person in the middle is having their cake and eating it too, but what about the one on the side. How do they interpret the relationship and themselves? This is why I even bother asking.

If you have ever been in the position where you had to fight your mate for their attention because you thought they were cheating (or they actually have been), I’m sure you’re wondering why I would even want to know the other side of the story. But there’s a reason for everything.

My initial thought would be, why would anyone want to settle for second best? But there are a couple of reasons why.

a. Gain- Financial, social, emotional, etc. The Side Piece (SP) uses the person to get whatever it is that they are lacking, whether they truly need it or not.

b. Loneliness- SP needs to feel the warmth of somebody, or really anybody that will provide it, without regards to who they may be with.

c. Need drama in their life- One of those types of people that need a lot more spice in their life than the average person. SP likes the thrill of almost getting caught or perhaps even wants to in order to one up the girlfriend or boyfriend.

What this all boils down to is selfishness. There’s a reason as to why people get involved in an unavailable person, but what do they think of themselves for doing it? In this case, I believe that you have two types of people.

a. You have the smug. Smug Sally gets a kick out of sleeping their way to something (whether it be to a better position at work, to getting better gifts than wifey, to being wisked off to Hawaii). This is the same person who gets joy out of knowing that she can spill anytime and ruin the family.

On the flip side…

b. You have the nervous. Nervous Nancy would probably kill herself if she got caught. She has bad nerves, but her partner is her weakness. She knows that it’s wrong and she feels hella guilty, but can’t stop…just…yet.

I’m not here to say what is right or wrong, but a clear conscious provides a much better sleep. One thing that I will say is that Side Pieces don’t get love, they are just convenient. Smug Sally might enjoy using others, but it’s really her that’s getting played.

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