Years ago, I took a class in Marriage & Other Intimate Relationships. Being the lover that I am of psychology and sociology, I was drawn to learn what makes people tick and whatever else I could learn about relationships as a whole. One night in particular, we discussed an aspect of sexuality that I never saw as an issue. Masturbation.
The question was: Is it considered cheating if you masturbate while you’re in a monogamous relationship (I’m not counting dating, just committed relationships and married couples)?
My immediate response was no. I didn’t see what the big deal was and I still don’t. For example, say your partner is out of town and you’re feeling a little frisky. Should you wait until they come back or handle your business? Am I saying that whenever you feel the urge, you should go solo? No. You should always turn to your spouse first. All I’m saying is that I don’t think it’s wrong to take care of yourself from time to time.
There was one lady in my class that got really heated during the conversation. We didn’t go back and forth (she did that with someone else though), but we definitely didn’t see eye to eye. She saw it as cheating because “his sperm belonged to me.” Yes, she actually said that. She went on to say that her husband should only have sex with her and nothing or nobody else.
Like I said, I never saw it as a big thing, just as long as it’s not out of control or obsessive. What are your thoughts? Do you view masturbating as cheating?