Archive | February 2014

The Art of Compromise

talk  According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word compromise means:

                  a way of reaching agreement in which each person or group

                  gives up something that was wanted in order to end an

                 argument or dispute.

So in other words, you’re arguing about what you could possibly do instead of what you won’t do. Two partners mutually agree to something in order to keep the peace. Sounds easy, right? Not a chance, but it’s a part of being a mature adult.

The art of compromise means that there’s some sort of give and take. Not every argument should be same person “knuckling under” every time. As a matter of fact, each party does in a way. For instance, “Last time I agreed to do the dishes and you do the cooking, so this time I will cook and you do the dishes.” Create the most fair approach possible. You don’t want to end up in a relationship where you are the only giver. Those are annoying. I am a firm believer in a relationship (friendships too) being equal. It’s just hard to trust a ‘taker.’

Compromising means that you learn how to pick your battles. If you find yourself arguing all the time, maybe you need to rethink your relationship. No couple is going to be rosy all the time and you’re going to have disagreements from time to time, but it should be more of a happy medium. Should you start an argument every time your partner comes home and ignores you because they are working on a project? No. Instead, state your feelings and discuss them with your mate. Try to take the “You always” language out and replace it with, “I feel ___ because ___” and “I want ____ .”

EXAMPLE: It makes me angry when you come in the house and ignore me. I want you to come in and speak to me for five or ten minutes, work for an hour or two, then I would like to spend some time with you.

Am I an expert in the art of compromising? Nope. Just making my way through the best way I know how. What’s your take?

You Always…

creeping Yeah, you know how to finish this sentence- Once a cheat, always a cheat. But is there any validity to it?

Say for instance you are dating a guy that you don’t see a future with and you cheat. But then you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with and you keep your legs closed. I guess the moral of this story is that people can change, especially due to the circumstances. Do I believe ‘people can change’ in every situation, hell no. I’m talking about the person who steps out of bounds once. If they admit their mistake and spend the rest of their days making it up to the person they’re with, it could possibly work out. The key is are they sorry for their actions or are they sorry they got caught. There’s a huge difference.

Am I defending cheaters? Absolutely not, but I’m merely playing devil’s advocate because I’ve been on both sides of the fence- the victim and the perpetrator. Have I cheated on every person I’ve been in a committed relationship with? Absolutely not. That’s what I mean by circumstances.

On the other hand, people are greedy and a lot of times, they don’t care about the person they’re with. These are the people who are serial cheaters. They do it because they don’t give a f*** and keep doing it no matter the consequences. The only time they are sorry is if they get caught. And do they get caught…always. May not be today, but it catches up eventually. These are the people that look out for their own needs and don’t see themselves stopping any time soon or for anybody.

Does cheating count when you have an open relationship? Does cheating count when you tell your partner that you will not be faithful to them?

My ultimate question to you is: If the shoe was on the other foot, would you believe the age old saying?

 

Creative Luv

v day  Trying to come up with some different things to do with your family on Valentine’s Day? Here are a few ideas that you can use with your family and some as a couple. Enjoy:)

Arts & Crafts

+ Homemade cards- A great way to say exactly how you feel.

+ Homemade gifts- Homemade gifts are sometimes the best. It shows that you put much effort and thought into what you’re making. For example, a  jewelry box- take a wooden box and decorate it with paint, glitter, rhinestones, etc.

+ Picture collage- Choose some of your favorite pictures of your family, friends, neighbors (or whoever you treasure) and make a collage- instagram doesn’t count!

Games

+ Bingo- Make your own bingo card or download one (I’m sure you don’t have to reinvent the wheel) that has Valentine’s Day items on there.

+ Hug tag- Tag with a twist. Play regular tag, using the same rules, except instead of tagging people, hug them. Or you can switch it up and kiss. Please don’t kiss people on the lips. You don’t know where everybody’s been. The cheek works wonders too.

+ Scavenger hunt- This requires much planning time, but I’m sure it’ll be worth it and fun too (if Peter Griffin can put one together, I’m SURE you can too)!

After Dark

+ Dice game- You know what I’m talking about. Roll those dice and see what you get to kiss, lick, massage, or whatever!

+ Massage- This is not the time to use lotion. Whip out those smell good oils and rub your partner down.

+ Use food- This is definitely the night to turn your partner into a sundae and eat it off of them;)

Other

+ Love letter/notes- Kind of like a card, but better. Leave your significant other a nice love note somewhere where they can find it that truly expresses the way you feel. If you’re really creative, stick a poem in that you wrote.

+ Kissing booth- Set up a place in the house where you can give out kisses for pennies, a cookie, or whatever “toll” you want to enforce.

+ Cook together- This is a great way to bond and plenty of time to communicate with your partner and/or children.

+ Candlelight dinner- Once you finish cooking, light some candles and enjoy each other’s company with no TV, no kids, and no distractions.

Tell It

gossiping  If you’re like me, you like to stay to yourself and mind your business. I don’t like nosy people and I especially don’t like to butt into couples’ relationships. You will always have an opinion about someone else’s relationship, but you don’t know the ins and outs of what happens behind closed doors. Your judgment may also be cloudy when it comes to your friends and protecting their feelings and egos.

My question to you would be, what if you saw your friend’s significant other out with someone else- would you tell your friend? Here’s the thing. There are many different variables as to what would happen if you did or did not tell your friend what you saw. Below are some pros and cons. Anything missing?

PROS

+ You don’t want to see your friend hurt.

+ You truly believe that it would be better for them to know.

+ You know they don’t deserve to be cheated on because they are a good man/woman.

CONS

– What if the person is a family member and not random booty?

– What if you just started up some mess and what you saw wasn’t really them creepin’?

– What if you are friends with both parties and you feel like you have to choose sides? A monkey in the middle type of situation.

TOSS UP

= You don’t want to get involved.

Where do you stand?