The Art of Compromise

talk  According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word compromise means:

                  a way of reaching agreement in which each person or group

                  gives up something that was wanted in order to end an

                 argument or dispute.

So in other words, you’re arguing about what you could possibly do instead of what you won’t do. Two partners mutually agree to something in order to keep the peace. Sounds easy, right? Not a chance, but it’s a part of being a mature adult.

The art of compromise means that there’s some sort of give and take. Not every argument should be same person “knuckling under” every time. As a matter of fact, each party does in a way. For instance, “Last time I agreed to do the dishes and you do the cooking, so this time I will cook and you do the dishes.” Create the most fair approach possible. You don’t want to end up in a relationship where you are the only giver. Those are annoying. I am a firm believer in a relationship (friendships too) being equal. It’s just hard to trust a ‘taker.’

Compromising means that you learn how to pick your battles. If you find yourself arguing all the time, maybe you need to rethink your relationship. No couple is going to be rosy all the time and you’re going to have disagreements from time to time, but it should be more of a happy medium. Should you start an argument every time your partner comes home and ignores you because they are working on a project? No. Instead, state your feelings and discuss them with your mate. Try to take the “You always” language out and replace it with, “I feel ___ because ___” and “I want ____ .”

EXAMPLE: It makes me angry when you come in the house and ignore me. I want you to come in and speak to me for five or ten minutes, work for an hour or two, then I would like to spend some time with you.

Am I an expert in the art of compromising? Nope. Just making my way through the best way I know how. What’s your take?

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