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Dear Facebook

facebook Since Facebook hit the scene, people have been using it to reconnect with others, share photos, or even advertise products and services. Another thing that Facebook has become to some is a diary. Maybe some don’t realize that this is a social media site and once it reaches cyberspace, it’s just out there. Maybe some don’t realize that you can’t QUITE delete your page and it’s still there after you either hide or delete your account. Maybe some don’t realize that some of us don’t give a damn what you’re going through and we’re sorry that we friended you in the first place.

Ladies and gentlemen, there are many dos and don’ts in regards to setting up Facebook (which I will not go into), but what I would like to express is some frustration as far as what I’m been seeing lately. On my personal page, I don’t share much. People don’t need to know where I live, where I work, where I “checked in” to, or what I’m doing every day of my life. I share my blogs, a couple of pictures, and every now and then, I’ll share someone’s status. That’s it. But Facebook has become some people’s lives and a lifestyle. So I present to you the top four no-nos that I see that flood my page (besides the celebrities and stores that post something every five minutes). * FYI- They are not in order because they are equally annoying.

– Bragging: Low-key, you aren’t truly happy because if you were, you wouldn’t be on FB so much. Your life isn’t as grand as you describe it and you may even need confirmation and “ata boy/girl” from others. Stop it- you’re not happy and do something about that.

– Diary entry: Umm…I don’t need to know that you just came back from the store, you’re on your way to yoga, you just got a mani- pedi, and you’re about to tuck your kids in. Damnit- Facebook is not your spouse. There is no need to check in every two seconds. In fact, the more you post about your whereabouts, the easier you’re making it for someone to find you. So, keep on if you want to… .

– Attention-seeking: I take back what I said earlier. This might be the most annoying thing ever. FB is a social platform, not a therapist. If you need someone to talk to, reach out to them; a friend, mate, or whoever OFFLINE. Your ambiguous posts such as, “Lost right now,” “So hurt,” “Best day ever,” is only a ploy to get people to rush and say, “What’s wrong,” “What happened,” as comfort or to get your ego stroked. Stop it. If you have more than one hundred “friends,” more than half of those are strangers. Once again, go offline and talk to someone who actually cares.

– Revenge: This is a biggie. It’s funny when people post these nasty comments. My question is…are you absolutely sure that whoever your attitude is directed to is really reading your post? Don’t waste your time. Say a couple of woo-sas, pray, or better yet- talk to the person who upset you, instead of airing out your dirty laundry. You just look silly.

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So Toxic

???????????????????????????????????????  Ever have one that got away? You just knew he or she was The One. You already mapped out your wedding and your children’s names. So there’s just one question… why do you keep breaking up?

Everyone has that ex that you can’t get rid of, but have you ever been on the other side? Where the ex can’t get rid of you? They dog you out and use you, but you think that they are ‘just playing’ or ‘too busy’ to call back, commit, or ask you out again. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Until you are in that situation.

What if you tell a person you like them and their response is, “I’m flattered” and calls you back whenever? What if you go to visit them (in a different state) and they are too busy to see you more than once within a week’s time, OR if you happen to be visiting the area and they say, “Cool,  we should hook up” and they are nowhere to be found? What if you get burned (catch an STD) by your mate and you still go back to them?

All of these questions lead to one answer…you’re playing yourself. Not just once, because it never happens just one time. But over and over again. So my question to the people who are addicted to toxic people and situations is what’s wrong with you? Trust me, I’m not judging because I’ve been there. You know you’re getting hurt yet again, but you are in too deep to pull yourself out of this destructive behavior and/or relationship. You don’t see yourself getting out because this person is so perfect except they don’t call, text, date… . You get the picture.

Some of the reasons we go through this rough period of time is because we are settling, are comfortable, have low self-esteem, or don’t know what true love feels like. Dating is hard, I get it. But there’s nothing worse than settling for someone who is not worth your time, effort, and energy. If the next day after seeing this person, you don’t like the way you feel, then better luck next time because they aren’t The One. Do yourself a favor. Cleanse yourself of the toxic relationship and of the bad energy you have allowed in your mind, body, and soul. Sometimes it’s easier said than done, but it’s oh so worth it.

Would You Ever…

risk  When listening to the news or even just surfing the internet, you will come across some stories that seem so unbelievable that you will either be grossed out, it spurs conversation, or makes you feel really normal. So my question is, in the following situations, would you date this type/kind of person.

Would you ever date a person who…

– Cross dresses?

– Had a sex change (while you were with them)?

– Had a sex change (before you met)?

– Had a homosexual relationship/experience (if you are heterosexual)?

– Is a sexual predator?

– A drug abuser?

– A woman abuser?

– Has a sexually transmitted disease that you can’t get rid of?

– Is currently married?

– Abuses children?

What If?

  Continuing on with the friendship theme for the month of September, I decided for this blog I would strike up some meaningful conversation through some thought provoking questions. Think about these and feel free to post some answers.

1. What if you had a friend who questions your parenting skills/style?

2. What if your friend steals from you?

3. What if your friend needs a kidney or some other kind of transplant?

4. What if your friend slept with your spouse?

5. What if your friend was homicidal or suicidal?

6. What if your friend was into heavy drugs or alcohol?

7. What if your friend constantly copies your style (ex. the way you dress, look, talk, etc.)?

8. What if your friend tries to deliberately sabotage your relationship?

9. What if your friend hates your fiancee or spouse?

10. What if your friend wanted to date someone in your family?

11. What if your friend doesn’t believe in God (or the same God) or have the same values as you?

12. What if your friend becomes best friends with your archenemy?

Are any of these “dealbreakers” for you?

Addicted or Just Lovin’ It?

Once again Hollywood has made something out of nothing. Or shall I say, created the ultimate excuse. Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to formally introduce you to the true definition of a sex addict.

♣ Sex Addiction: having to do with obsessing over sex and the act of feeling compelled to have sexual relations. “A pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by the individual only as things to be used.”  Some symptoms include:

  • Continuation of the behavior despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent social, academic, financial, psychological, or physical problem that is caused or exacerbated by the behavior.
  • Need to increase the intensity, frequency, number, or risk of behaviors to achieve the desired effect, or diminished effect with continued behaviors at the same level of intensity, frequency, number, or risk.
  • Giving up or limiting social, occupational, or recreational activities because of the behavior.
  • Persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to stop, reduce, or control those behaviors.

There continues to be a debate on whether this is actually a disorder/disease or not. But, it’s funny how the term “sex addict” is carelessly thrown around every time a celebrity is caught with their pants down. There was Eric Benet, Kirk Franklin, Charlie Sheen, Tiger Woods, and now Russell Brand. People please understand that this is not a “Get Out of Jail Free” card. You just flat out cheated; now admit it and keep it moving.

So what did you learn today…I don’t believe that you are a “sex addict”. It’s a lame excuse, so just stop it!