Archives

Never Say Never

flowers

Never Too Late to…

– Apologize

– Pray

– Seek religion

– Say thank you

– Show or voice your appreciation

– Turn a bad day into a good one

 

Never Too Much of…

+ Saying I Love You

+ Saying what you feel

+ Giving thanks

+ Hugging and kissing

+ Kindness

+ Cheesecake

 

Never Leave the House Without

= Saying I Love You to someone you love

= Clean draws

= A couple of dollars

= Key (maybe even your I.D.)

= Letting someone know where you’re going (you never know)

= Having a purpose

S. O. S.

life saver  Why is it so difficult to ask for help? Some people don’t because their pride gets in the way.

Some don’t because they want to have all of the glory in saying that they managed all by themselves. Some are just too scared to (for whatever reason that may be). And some may believe that it’s a “giving up” or failure gesture. Whatever your reasoning is behind it is ultimately stubbornness. Everybody needs help every now and then, and some more than others. But if you need it, speak up! Don’t wait until you sink. What if it’s too late then?

Why is it easier to help someone instead of asking for it for yourself? Some people like to give more than they like to receive. Some like to shift the focus off of themselves. And some like the sense of accomplishment or like to feel good afterwards. There’s nothing wrong with selfless acts. In fact, all people should add a lil altruism in their life.

Why is it tit for tat? I can understand how it could be if there was a person asking for assistance ALL the time and never giving. That gets tired real quick. Then when you stop giving, they get mad. Everybody’s gotta do their share. Don’t be that guy or girl who can never do for themselves and want people to do FOR you, or else you will start coming up short!

What about the people who ask for or complain about not receiving any help- but don’t use what they get? What is your purpose, or better yet, what is the point? I hate it when people do this. It’s like they want to test the waters to see if you’ll come through. Please stop wasting people’s time and energy- it’s annoying.

In any type of relationship (friendship, business, kinship, or personal relationship), you should have equal give and take. Asking for and accepting help may be difficult for some, but it’s a part of life. Take a good look at each of your relationships and make sure that you are equally balanced. If not, that will be where most of the stress lies.

Reason Being

???????????????????????????????????????  Everything and everybody should have purpose. Purpose is important because it is the reason that you get up and do things. The reason why you are with someone. The reason why you work towards something.

Everything happens for a reason. I am a firm believer in that. And, people are in your life for a reason as well. If somebody’s there just to be there then they have no purpose. What I mean is, if they are draining you mentally, physically, financially, emotionally- they have no purpose and they gotta go.

What’s the point of holding on to something or somebody who isn’t drawing interest or carrying any weight? Why are you holding yourself back from reaching your goals, or your potential? You are maximizing your time and effort and overall purpose to contribute to something or somebody who has made no contribution to your life. And for what?

Think about this… Where would you be if you let go of your ex or that one person you want to be with so bad but it’s not mutual? Where would you be if you reorganized your space (in your mind, body, soul, and physical space)? Who knows, you could be inadvertently blocking your blessing because you’re comfortable where you are, don’t want to have hurt feelings, or simply scared of the unknown. Stop it. Reevaluate your life. I’m willing to bet that there’s something or someone there that shouldn’t be.

Personally, I am all about purpose. People who know me have heard me say, “ What is his/her purpose” or “That has no purpose” time and time again. But here’s the thing. I need to know why you’re in my life, and if you shouldn’t be, then you won’t be. I don’t care how that sounds because it’s the truth. I spent many a day carrying unnecessary baggage only to lose part of my life and create unwanted stress. And at the end of the day, I had nothing to show for it. I don’t want or have ‘just because’ friendships. You’re either a friend or you’re not. If we’re associates, we’re talking because we’re cool and there is a reason we keep in touch. You add some type of purpose or joy to my life and I WANT you there. If you get cut off, the cons outweigh the pros and it must be for the best.

My best advice for all is to seriously evaluate all aspects of your life. Clean out your closet, so to speak. Get rid of everything and everybody who doesn’t bring any value to your life. I guarantee you will feel like a brand new person. And don’t just do this once. Constant reevaluation takes practice, but it prevents unneeded stress and it’s well worth it.

Feels So Good

peace  Not everybody can afford to go on vacation every time they feel stressed. Can you imagine living life without a care or worry in the world? That would be the day. Here’s a list of twenty things that can make a person feel pretty damn good.

+ A warm blanket

+ Watching your favorite movie

+ Pay day

+ Being with family and friends

+ Being at peace

+ The beach

+ Laughing

+ Going to sleep after a long day

+ A massage

+ A sincere compliment or thank you

+ Shopping

+ A new outfit

+ Being able to pay your bills

+ The first bite into Cheescake Factory cheesecake

+ Walking on the beach with no shoes on

+ A promotion or recognition of your hard work

+ Food to die for

+ A great drink

+ Finishing a good book

+ A passionate kiss

What would you add?

Wait…here’s a bonus…a hug from someone special or someone you haven’t seen in a while:) Have a great end of the week!

Written in Stone

???????????????????????????????????????  Men open all doors and pay for everything. Men set up the dates. Women should be coy and eat salads at dinner. Do these same rules for dating apply in 2013 as they did in the 50s? We are in a new day of age and require a new set of rules, ladies and gentlemen. Do I believe that men should still be opening doors? Yes. I think that men should still be required to be men and more importantly, gentlemen. Do I believe that men should be making all the decisions about the date? No. Just as we have a new breed of rules, we also have a different breed of women. We don’t have to wait for a man to ask us out, and ordering for us is totally unacceptable.

My question is… What exactly is acceptable dating behavior? One of the “rules” state that once you go out on a date, you wait a day or two for the man to follow-up and schedule another date for the following weekend or week. I have a friend who thought I was crazy because I went on a first date, then turned around and went on the second date the next day. But guess what, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years since that first date. A girlfriend of mine met someone in a bar and saw each other everyday since, then married two years later. So the scheduling a date a week or two later is for the birds. Do what you feel is right. If you made that connection and your date wants to see you the next day, go for it (unless it seems out of desperation).

Another rule that I’d like to dispute is the picking the woman up from the house. I have an issue with this when it’s the first couple of dates. You don’t need to know where I live early on, especially when it comes to safety. What if we go out and don’t have a great time? You ended up being a jackass and a severely disturbed man. You picked me up from the house on the first date and now you’re extra salty because we’re not going out again. Now I have ol’ boy doing drive-bys and stalking me at my place because I didn’t get to know him before he got to see my place. No sir! Long story short. There are a lot of crazy people out there who are disguised as well-mannered ladies and gentlemen. Don’t put on your blinders at the beginning. Don’t ignore those red flags that you complain about to your girlfriend when you get home from the date!

What are some dating rules that you have broken? I only discussed two but I know there are a ton more!

The Game

h   It’s Saturday night. You’ve got on your tightest pants or shortest dress. Your high heels, dangling earrings, and Mac lip gloss. You and your girlfriends ride together, and within thirty, you arrive at your destination. The club. And as a woman, what do you expect when you first step in? Wack lines. Whomp whomp.

Now granted, I haven’t been out clubbing with my girls in a while. Matter of fact, I have even fallen asleep in a couple because it’s not my thing anymore. But I can guarantee one thing without even having to step back into one- there’s going to be a lot of drunk men with no game.  So fellas, if you do anything on this list… STOP IT IMMEDIATELY!

1. “Hey ma.” For starters, I am not your ma, boo, boo thang, sweet thang, girl, or any other variation. Secondly, you are men. Please have some manners before stepping up on somebody. And lastly, if you don’t know my name and you substitute it with “ma,” it wasn’t meant to be.

2. “Lemme holla at chu.” No.

3. “Why you look so mean?” This line should not be a one size fits all type of deal. You hear this all the time. If you want to say something, bring some substance to the conversation. But think about it for a minute. If you were walking through a crowded, funky room and getting bumped constantly and your feet stepped on or even have a drink spilled on them, you would be frowning too. Or if you’re on a mission, for example, headed to the bar or the bathroom, sometimes you aren’t aware of your facial expressions. So fellas, I’m gonna tell you a little secret. This line is tired and annoying. So stop it!

4. “You can’t have friends?” Are you kidding me? Say the shoe was on the other foot. Say I hook up with my new club friend and we end up in a relationship. Would you be okay with me getting new club “friends?” Hell no! You’re selfish.

5. The nonverbal grab. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m not going to say anything, but instead I’ll just grab your arm, butt, breast, or whatever. I had one guy that was bold enough to jump on my back after I ignored him grabbing my arm and the back of my shirt. This is just totally unacceptable on all levels. Why are you touching me? What do you want? Get your hands off me. All pop into my head when I see or experience this. This is definitely not a turn on. Don’t touch me. Moving on.

6. The stare. This is just creepy. I know you guys are just trying to see if you can catch a woman’s eye, but damn. Didn’t your mama teach you that staring is rude? Staring in any situation is weird and uncomfortable, but add the dark and an active atmosphere to the mix. I’m gonna just think that you’re plain ole crazy or a stalker.

Do you have any weak lines that you can add?

Does Size Really Matter?

Image   For starters, get your mind out of the gutter. I’m not even gonna go there with that touchy subject, but instead I’ll approach another. Ring size. Does how many carats in a ring determine what type of marriage you’ll have? Does it dictate what kind of man a woman is marrying (for example, cheap versus generous)? My answer is no to both and let me tell you why.

Of course most women want a big diamond. Nobody, and let me repeat, nobody is going to ask or secretly wish for a diamond that they cannot see. For one, bigger looks better. And two, bragging rights. Let me repeat, nobody is gonna want to show off a diamond that you need a magnifying glass to see. But here’s the thing. A piece of jewelry does not represent your marriage or what it could be. For example, Tom Cruise presented Katie Holmes with a five carat platinum ring which cost $275,000. Ben Affleck proposed to Jennifer Lopez with a six carat diamond that cost two million. We all know what happened in these two situations, but let me break it down. These guys spent beaucoup money on relationships that didn’t last more than eight years (combined). You cannot put more into an object than a lifelong partnership. Objects do not and cannot determine quality, which is the purpose of marriage not whose is biggest.

Style should be more or less judged more than money spent on a ring. If you know your partner well enough to marry them, then you should be able to pick out their taste. Fellas, I’m going to give you a huge suggestion when it comes to jewelry (maybe even clothes). If you don’t know her exact taste or if you picked something out that you’re unsure of, take a peek in her jewelry box or what she wears. Now granted you shouldn’t buy an exact replica, but simply a similar style.

How much money a man has does not make the man. You could be the richest man in the world and still be a jackass. Or you could be the poorest man in the world and have the most caring heart. Trust me, this article is not an out for men to go out and look for a two hundred dollar ring (before it went on sale) to propose with, but moreso this is an article to point out that money, status, and fanciness do not always produce happiness. It’s what you and your partner contribute to making your marriage work.