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Listen Up

time to listen  Wedding planning can be extremely stressful at times, but that also depends on the company you keep. If you have family and friends who keep their opinions to themselves, then things will go really smooth. On the other hand, if you have people around you who have bumped their gums about anything and everything from what color your draws should be on your big day to flower arrangements, you have lost control and need to take a step back (no wonder you’re stressed!).

There were months where I was confused- no stress…aren’t I supposed to be doing something? With six months to plan, there were a couple of months that coasted by because everything was in place or needed to be done right before the wedding. So instead of stressing, I focused on more important things, such as paying bills, money in general, and the honeymoon:)

Now that my big day has come and gone, there were a couple of things that were said to me that stood out during those six months of engagement and planning. These are the top four pieces of advice that were given to me that every bride should keep in mind.

1. “Plan for the marriage and don’t stress the wedding.”

This is extremely important. Those who plan for the wedding and not the marriage are in for a rude awakening and have an immature mindset. How many times have you heard, “Marriage is forever?” Umm…it’s true. It’s not just for the day and there are PLENTY of days after the honeymoon. Mature minds know that when you plan for MARRIAGE, you are planning a future.

2. “It’s your day.”

Meaning…I didn’t have to give a kiddie about what was good with anybody else. As a bride, you have to take on this selfish attitude. I wasn’t comfortable with it, but it’s necessary when you have to make big decisions, such as weeding out people who aren’t truly happy for you off of the invite list, choosing food and music you like, etc. You would hate to be unhappy on the happiest day of your life and the one day you will be in the spotlight all day long.

3. “Look around and take in the scene.”

Believe it or not, the day will be a big blur to you. During the reception, I took a few minutes to look around at all the people who came out to celebrate with us. It was an indescribable feeling to see old and new friends and family, all enjoying themselves and who were there to see me and my husband take the biggest step of our lives. There’s no other day that can capture this. What I didn’t do was do the same thing at the ceremony and I regret that. Brides-to-be, please take this advice both at the ceremony and the reception.

4. “Relax.”

There are going to be mishaps, people rushing around, and things that are overlooked. The last thing you need is to be stressed, especially if they are things that are out of your control. I was upset at my reception because the tables were messed up and one table of my family members ended up in the back which is not where I put them. Could I stop the dinner and toasts and move people? Could I have people switch tables? Could I physically move the tables the way I mapped them out? Are you kidding?? I had to learn to let that go. Like I stated before, the day goes by so fast that there’s not any time to be stressing about stupid stuff. Just relax, let go, and be merry. Focus on the marriage, not the wedding, and be happy.

Do you have any advice that you would like to share for future brides?

Does Size Really Matter?

Image   For starters, get your mind out of the gutter. I’m not even gonna go there with that touchy subject, but instead I’ll approach another. Ring size. Does how many carats in a ring determine what type of marriage you’ll have? Does it dictate what kind of man a woman is marrying (for example, cheap versus generous)? My answer is no to both and let me tell you why.

Of course most women want a big diamond. Nobody, and let me repeat, nobody is going to ask or secretly wish for a diamond that they cannot see. For one, bigger looks better. And two, bragging rights. Let me repeat, nobody is gonna want to show off a diamond that you need a magnifying glass to see. But here’s the thing. A piece of jewelry does not represent your marriage or what it could be. For example, Tom Cruise presented Katie Holmes with a five carat platinum ring which cost $275,000. Ben Affleck proposed to Jennifer Lopez with a six carat diamond that cost two million. We all know what happened in these two situations, but let me break it down. These guys spent beaucoup money on relationships that didn’t last more than eight years (combined). You cannot put more into an object than a lifelong partnership. Objects do not and cannot determine quality, which is the purpose of marriage not whose is biggest.

Style should be more or less judged more than money spent on a ring. If you know your partner well enough to marry them, then you should be able to pick out their taste. Fellas, I’m going to give you a huge suggestion when it comes to jewelry (maybe even clothes). If you don’t know her exact taste or if you picked something out that you’re unsure of, take a peek in her jewelry box or what she wears. Now granted you shouldn’t buy an exact replica, but simply a similar style.

How much money a man has does not make the man. You could be the richest man in the world and still be a jackass. Or you could be the poorest man in the world and have the most caring heart. Trust me, this article is not an out for men to go out and look for a two hundred dollar ring (before it went on sale) to propose with, but moreso this is an article to point out that money, status, and fanciness do not always produce happiness. It’s what you and your partner contribute to making your marriage work.