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Springtime

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????  Sometimes we get so bogged down with stress from our jobs, children, school, home life, that we forget the many blessings that we have. Our simple pleasures.

– A hug

– A smile

– A warm blanket fresh from the dryer

– A full tank of gas

– A good movie

– Snuggling

– Fresh flowers

– A hot shower

– A hearty laugh

– A completed task

– A clean house or laundry

– Seeing your besttie

– A slice of cheesecake or chocolate cake

– A massage

– The big O

Don’t let worry and nonsense take away your happiness and peace. Enjoy your night.

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All Things Must Come to an End

NY  We have only a few days left of 2013. Some people have been planning for the 31st since January or may have started last week. This day is a big deal. Who you spend it with is just as important as what you do. When I was younger, staying in a night, especially the weekend, was not an option. As I have aged, the tables have definitely turned, since sitting on the couch with a small amount of people around me is my preference- even on weekends. So why should New Year’s be any different? Here are some cheaper and safer ways to spend New Year’s Eve (and remember what you did the next morning).

1. Couch love- There is nothing wrong with curling up on the couch, having a movie marathon and watching the ball drop at midnight. You are in the house; safe from drunk drivers and you are within your own four walls. You can’t beat that! If you can’t sit still on the couch, play a game with your family or make something together. The great thing about this suggestion is that you can feel free to be in your pajamas and curlers… all day long!

2. Reflection- Take the time to reflect on your year. What worked, what didn’t, what you would like to change (add or delete). With a new year comes a brand new start. This is the time to focus on making improvements and setting goals, but also, try not to overwhelm yourself so that you’re not setting yourself up for failure. Take one or two goals, set a timeline, and see it through completely. You will feel a lot more successful if you completed a goal versus having six incomplete goals on your plate.

I recently read an article in the Huffington Post about creating New Year’s themes, instead of resolutions. For instance, if you want to eat better and cook more, your goal would be ‘Nourish.’ If you want to try new places, travel, and do something spontaneous, your goal would be ‘Adventure.’ You get the picture. It’s worth a try.

3. House party- Similar to number one, post up at your own house, a friend’s house, or a family member’s house. You are with people you love and somewhere safe (hopefully). If you are not at your own home, please wait to leave after 12:30 or so. Give the crazies enough time for them to drive all over the road and for you and your loved ones to get home safely.

How are you spending your New Year’s Eve?

Listen Up

time to listen  Wedding planning can be extremely stressful at times, but that also depends on the company you keep. If you have family and friends who keep their opinions to themselves, then things will go really smooth. On the other hand, if you have people around you who have bumped their gums about anything and everything from what color your draws should be on your big day to flower arrangements, you have lost control and need to take a step back (no wonder you’re stressed!).

There were months where I was confused- no stress…aren’t I supposed to be doing something? With six months to plan, there were a couple of months that coasted by because everything was in place or needed to be done right before the wedding. So instead of stressing, I focused on more important things, such as paying bills, money in general, and the honeymoon:)

Now that my big day has come and gone, there were a couple of things that were said to me that stood out during those six months of engagement and planning. These are the top four pieces of advice that were given to me that every bride should keep in mind.

1. “Plan for the marriage and don’t stress the wedding.”

This is extremely important. Those who plan for the wedding and not the marriage are in for a rude awakening and have an immature mindset. How many times have you heard, “Marriage is forever?” Umm…it’s true. It’s not just for the day and there are PLENTY of days after the honeymoon. Mature minds know that when you plan for MARRIAGE, you are planning a future.

2. “It’s your day.”

Meaning…I didn’t have to give a kiddie about what was good with anybody else. As a bride, you have to take on this selfish attitude. I wasn’t comfortable with it, but it’s necessary when you have to make big decisions, such as weeding out people who aren’t truly happy for you off of the invite list, choosing food and music you like, etc. You would hate to be unhappy on the happiest day of your life and the one day you will be in the spotlight all day long.

3. “Look around and take in the scene.”

Believe it or not, the day will be a big blur to you. During the reception, I took a few minutes to look around at all the people who came out to celebrate with us. It was an indescribable feeling to see old and new friends and family, all enjoying themselves and who were there to see me and my husband take the biggest step of our lives. There’s no other day that can capture this. What I didn’t do was do the same thing at the ceremony and I regret that. Brides-to-be, please take this advice both at the ceremony and the reception.

4. “Relax.”

There are going to be mishaps, people rushing around, and things that are overlooked. The last thing you need is to be stressed, especially if they are things that are out of your control. I was upset at my reception because the tables were messed up and one table of my family members ended up in the back which is not where I put them. Could I stop the dinner and toasts and move people? Could I have people switch tables? Could I physically move the tables the way I mapped them out? Are you kidding?? I had to learn to let that go. Like I stated before, the day goes by so fast that there’s not any time to be stressing about stupid stuff. Just relax, let go, and be merry. Focus on the marriage, not the wedding, and be happy.

Do you have any advice that you would like to share for future brides?

Thanksgiving Prayer

thanksgiving 1  Dear Lord,

Thank you for bringing us together for another Thanksgiving. Thank you for my family. Thank you for my friends. I am so blessed to have them in my life. Please continue to watch over them and protect them from harm.

Thank you for this food I have been blessed to receive used to nourish and strengthen my body. And thank you for the hands that prepared it.

I hope this day brings peace and many blessings in my home, as well as my family and friends’ homes, this holiday as well as EVERY day. I know I may not speak or see them too often, but please let them know that I love them all. I thank you for every person you have brought into my life; those who have brought me love and happiness.

Please continue to bless my marriage as we celebrate our first major holiday as a married couple. Let this be the beginning of many more.

So this Thanksgiving, I just want to say thank you to You, my family, and my friends. Thank you for being a special part of my life. I love you. In Jesus’ name I pray.

Amen.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Sharing is Caring?

shh2  I love the phrase, “Sharing is caring,” but sometimes it should not be carried out. Of course you want to swap stories, share an appetizer, and maybe even clothes (some of you). But there are three things in particular that you should not share with friends (or even best friend).

1). Talk about sex: Sure sharing juicy details is very entertaining and sometimes fun, but the line has to be drawn somewhere. If you talk too much about how great it feels when he throws your leg up or she strokes you, then maybe they want to see for themselves. Sometimes less is better…and this is one of those times.

2). Your mate: I shouldn’t have to spell this out, and especially not why you shouldn’t share who you’re married to or in a relationship with. It’s trifling to mess with a friend’s mate, period.

3). Toys: And I’m not talking about Tonka. First of all, that’s gross. Secondly, it’s not sanitary. I can’t even see a scenario I would be in where this would even be a question, but hey, shit happens…with other people.

How did everything become sex related?? Definitely not on purpose. Is there anything else you would add to the list?

Always a Sign

thirsty  The older you get or once your friends get married, it often leaves single friends wanting a monogamous relationship even more. You may go out more. Ask a friend to hook you up. You may even dress up a little nicer. Normal, right? Yes. However, there are some things that are the total opposite of this. The correct term for this wack behavior is called: thirsty. Let me explain what I’m talking about by using examples.

* Your girlfriend calls to catch up after not talking for a while. You tell her what you’ve been up to- work is stressful, money is being stretched a little too thin, spouse is good, etc. Now it’s your girlfriend’s time to catch up and all she can talk about is her chasing after some man who doesn’t want her. There may be ONE line about work, but it’s usually, “Work is work” or “Work is good,” but then the next forty-five minutes is dedicated to a man who’s “just not that into you.” So thirsty– you just wanna hang on to whatever so you have something to talk about.

* A man continues to call a woman everyday who does not answer or call him back. Eventually, he becomes satisfied with listening to her voice on her voicemail. So thirsty. Next thing you know, he’ll go out and buy a blow up doll and tape your picture on the head.

* You think that every man or woman that passes by and smiles at you is interested. So thirsty.

* You want to get noticed by anyone. You may stick out your chest in a crowded room (if you’re a woman), speak loudly so the focus is on you at all times, etc. So thirsty.

* You call a family member or a friend to get in touch with someone you’re interested in…but they don’t respond to your advances, time and time again. So thirsty.

Whomp, whomp. Stop throwing yourself at people. It makes you look crazy and extra desperate. So unattractive.

What Did You Do That For?

what-26714648  There are some things in life that we feel guilty for. You know the times when you said to yourself, “Damn, I shouldn’t have done that.” And there are some things in life we don’t give a kiddy about and have that, “Oh well” attitude. So this post is more towards the “Oh well” and “I don’t care crowd.”

Here are the top six ways you know you have hooked up with someone for the wrong reasons (and take “hooked up” any way you like).

1). Money: This is your get rich quick scheme? Really? Do material objects really keep you warm at night, comfort you, bring you soup when you’re sick? Gold digging is for the birds. Grow up and get a real relationship.

2). Change in status: You were like Beyonce and looking for an upgrade, weren’t you? Well going after someone or hooking up with them only in hopes of a change in social or marital status is a relationship doomed to fail. If it’s not about love and a true partnership, it’s not going to work. Who knows, your prince might be like Roc (the garbage man) or your queen may be a model with a jacked up attitude but great connections. Everything shiny ain’t gold.

3). Make a friend mad: Are you one of those, “Now she can’t have him. He’s mine,” in spite of or to get back at someone? But if you really think about it, if you hooked up with someone with a negative motive in mind against your friend, then are you truly friends? It shouldn’t be about competition and ugliness.

4). Make your parents mad: You knew they didn’t like him or her before you hooked up and you did it anyways. Just to prove a point or to be ornery. You knew it wasn’t worth the hassle.

5). Just to see what all the hype was about: Sit your greedy needy butt down! Why must you have to know? Just listen to your best friend, barber, or cousin brag. You don’t have to go out and test the waters too!

6). Bored: My personal favorite excuse- I didn’t have anything to do, or “Whatever.” *See my “Just Because” blog for more information on this reasoning.

Was there anything that I missed?