Archives

I’m Sorry, Everyone

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????  Apologies can either be very sincere or very shady. Of course it depends on how you say it; are you speaking from the heart, is it something you were forced to say, etc. As you can see, there are a number of variables that are involved in whether a person can fully believe and accept your words. Nobody has probably learned that valuable lesson more than Robin Thicke. Believe me when I say that this blog is not to judge his character, but merely a question.

 

Robin Thicke has been going on stage crying and recently released a whole album dedicated to his wife as a way to get her back. Everyone makes mistakes and we can only speculate on what really made Paula Patton give him the boot. But, my question is this- What has he done in private to make it up to her? Sometimes, we as the public, don’t need to hear all of your business. Sometimes, we as women, don’t require our men to humiliate themselves in the public for us. Yes, if you do something stupid enough to lose us, you need to do something (a lot of something) to get us back, but where does one cross the line?

 

I hate to talk about their business like this, but I feel like I’m doing people (especially the fellas) a little favor. Sometimes going over the top and bringing other people into your home, so to speak, is not a meaningful way to apologize. In Robin’s case, this looks more like a manipulation attempt to get other people to feel sorry for him. Eventually people will say (if they haven’t already), ‘Paula, give that man another chance. He’s going around the world singing and crying over you.’ The ball is now in her court and their mess is now in the street.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, there has to be a happy medium here. Don’t just mutter an empty I’m sorry and think that all’s well with the world. And on the other hand, don’t do the Thicke plan and dedicate an album to someone who left you and promote it looking all pitiful. Should you ever end up in a similar situation, realize that a sincere apology takes a lot of time and effort. Trust doesn’t build overnight and your actions afterwards will be scrutinized, with good reason. What will you do to prove that you won’t make the same mistake twice? What happens if you do get your partner to come back, then what? What will it take to gain their trust again? Assess your own actions. What would you do if your partner did what you did? What would it take to get you back? Why do you need it to work? What will change?  At the end of the day, you have to know the person you’re with in order to “win your campaign.” Would your partner need you to get on your hands and knees and beg for forgiveness at home, require you to shout it from roof of a nearby tall building, or a handmade poem and flowers? Pushing the envelope and going through extreme efforts can backfire, so really consider what’s best for you and your boo- privately.

 

One More Chance

sad  We all know that being a big name celebrity awards you with plenty of big time perks, such as endorsements, money thrown at you, groupies, and fancy extras (vacations, cars, houses, etc.). All comes with the territory, right? Something else that’s a big plus is their ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ cards. Yes, PLURAL. Celebrities get that preferential treatment in court when it comes to DUIs, hit and runs, battery- the works. But let me smack someone with a beer bottle ONCE. I would be charged with all kinds of battery, assault with a deadly weapon, public intoxication, and whatever else they could find. And to sweeten the pot, my ass would be under the jail! Depending on who I hit would determine how long I would go away for.

 

Here’s the thing. I have a problem when I see some of these celebs do things that are clearly not right and only get a slap on the wrist. If they are a repeat offender, they may even get sentenced to…WAIT FOR IT… a whole two hours in jail. How is this any type of punishment? How is this teaching them a lesson? And for the children that look up to some of these celeb jerks, what kind of message are they sending to them?

 

Let me take it a step further and address one celebrity in particular. Chris Brown. It is obvious that Chris Brown has issues with his anger.  I think that the judge may have done the right thing by sending him to jail. Only time will tell whether locking him up scared him straight or made him a better criminal. I’m hoping for the former. He is a talented individual and I hate to see yet another African American male be subjected to the penal system. Here’s my issue. Chris was given several chances to get his act together before he was taken into custody, but so have a lot of other celebrities. He’s not the only one that has a revolving door to the court house in his life, so what made him stand out? What about Lindsay Lohan? Yes, she’s been to jail, but not half as long as CB. What about Charlie Sheen? Khia (maybe she wouldn’t count as a real celebrity, but she has been arrested at least twenty times)? The Baldwin family? I might as well throw in the Lohan family since almost all of them have been arrested for something. And why is it that the drunk stars stay locked up only long enough to sober up for the night? I guess they won’t be taken seriously until they actually kill someone?

 

There are plenty of other celebrities that have had several brushes with the law that don’t see the inside of a prison. Should there be a limit to how many times you should visit the judge before punishment (besides a paying a fine)? Should there be other options besides  jail/prison? What are your thoughts?

Dear Facebook

facebook Since Facebook hit the scene, people have been using it to reconnect with others, share photos, or even advertise products and services. Another thing that Facebook has become to some is a diary. Maybe some don’t realize that this is a social media site and once it reaches cyberspace, it’s just out there. Maybe some don’t realize that you can’t QUITE delete your page and it’s still there after you either hide or delete your account. Maybe some don’t realize that some of us don’t give a damn what you’re going through and we’re sorry that we friended you in the first place.

Ladies and gentlemen, there are many dos and don’ts in regards to setting up Facebook (which I will not go into), but what I would like to express is some frustration as far as what I’m been seeing lately. On my personal page, I don’t share much. People don’t need to know where I live, where I work, where I “checked in” to, or what I’m doing every day of my life. I share my blogs, a couple of pictures, and every now and then, I’ll share someone’s status. That’s it. But Facebook has become some people’s lives and a lifestyle. So I present to you the top four no-nos that I see that flood my page (besides the celebrities and stores that post something every five minutes). * FYI- They are not in order because they are equally annoying.

– Bragging: Low-key, you aren’t truly happy because if you were, you wouldn’t be on FB so much. Your life isn’t as grand as you describe it and you may even need confirmation and “ata boy/girl” from others. Stop it- you’re not happy and do something about that.

– Diary entry: Umm…I don’t need to know that you just came back from the store, you’re on your way to yoga, you just got a mani- pedi, and you’re about to tuck your kids in. Damnit- Facebook is not your spouse. There is no need to check in every two seconds. In fact, the more you post about your whereabouts, the easier you’re making it for someone to find you. So, keep on if you want to… .

– Attention-seeking: I take back what I said earlier. This might be the most annoying thing ever. FB is a social platform, not a therapist. If you need someone to talk to, reach out to them; a friend, mate, or whoever OFFLINE. Your ambiguous posts such as, “Lost right now,” “So hurt,” “Best day ever,” is only a ploy to get people to rush and say, “What’s wrong,” “What happened,” as comfort or to get your ego stroked. Stop it. If you have more than one hundred “friends,” more than half of those are strangers. Once again, go offline and talk to someone who actually cares.

– Revenge: This is a biggie. It’s funny when people post these nasty comments. My question is…are you absolutely sure that whoever your attitude is directed to is really reading your post? Don’t waste your time. Say a couple of woo-sas, pray, or better yet- talk to the person who upset you, instead of airing out your dirty laundry. You just look silly.