The Bermuda Triangle

  Some men and some women are equally crazy in regards to this topic, and this is something that has puzzled me for years. Now, this question is only for the mentally unstable. Umm… when your man or woman steps out on you (or you believe it to be true), why do you attack the other person? And by attack, yes I do mean physically, as well as verbally.

Yes, I understand why a person would be upset at both parties, but guess what? The third party is not the one who is committed to you! How about confronting the person you are in the relationship with and getting to the root of the issue of them cheating? Or even just dropping them?

The whole idea of confronting or attacking the third person, I believe, has to do moreso with ego, jealousy, and pride. “How dare you try to take my man away. You may have had him for the night, but he comes home to me.” Yeah, right after he’s finished.

Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve gotta be smart about this and mature. Although it may be comforting to put someone who needed it in their place, you’re going about it the wrong way if your sole mission is to hurt a person who has nothing to do with you. If you think your relationship is worth saving, you would go to the source. All this keying the other woman’s car, fights, threatening phone calls, etc. are for the birds. Grow up and handle your business as mature adults. Talk it out as a couple.

Thank you and good night.


The Hunt

   As little girls, women are programmed a certain way (intentionally or not) in Cinderella-mode. As children, we watch movie classics such as Cinderella, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, etc. and are conditioned at a young age to believe that your prince is going to come (your one and only true love), on a white horse, and you are going to live happily ever after. Does this happen in real life? Uh…no. But that’s not the question. It’s much deeper than that. It is ingrained in women early that marriage is going to produce the ultimate completeness and happiness. So I will pose two questions for tonight. One, do you believe that marriage is the key to personal happiness and being “whole”? And two, do you believe that women try to find husbands more often than men try to find wives?

These two questions may appear to be from two different atmospheres, but let me connect the dots for you. As I previously stated, fairytales portray young women as looking for their husband as their main quest. Oftentimes, it’s viewed as the female’s ultimate goal; ‘Okay, I found my husband’…roll credits. I feel sorry for girls who grow into adults who maintain this mentality. There are many women lurking around in the world who search near and far for a husband to complete them, but rarely do I ever hear of a man doing anything remotely close to this. Does this exist?

My personal answer to the first question is no. Even though research shows that married women are overall happier than single women, does not mean that a ring caused that happiness. In order to be an equal partner and to have a decent relationship, you have to be complete first. You shouldn’t go into a relationship and half-ass it. You shouldn’t go into a relationship if you can’t give it your all. And, more importantly, you shouldn’t be in a relationship if you solely depend on another human being to make you happy. That’s just not healthy or realistic (plus a lot of unnecessary pressure on your partner).

In regards to the second question, I whole-heartedly believe that women look for marriage more than men. I don’t see guys stressing about being married by thirty or when they are exactly going to find “The One”. It’s women who worry about their biological clocks ticking deafening them and desperately wanting the white horse and carriage in their late twenties or early thirties, like it’s last call.

What’s your take on this topic?

Addicted or Just Lovin’ It?

Once again Hollywood has made something out of nothing. Or shall I say, created the ultimate excuse. Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to formally introduce you to the true definition of a sex addict.

♣ Sex Addiction: having to do with obsessing over sex and the act of feeling compelled to have sexual relations. “A pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by the individual only as things to be used.”  Some symptoms include:

  • Continuation of the behavior despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent social, academic, financial, psychological, or physical problem that is caused or exacerbated by the behavior.
  • Need to increase the intensity, frequency, number, or risk of behaviors to achieve the desired effect, or diminished effect with continued behaviors at the same level of intensity, frequency, number, or risk.
  • Giving up or limiting social, occupational, or recreational activities because of the behavior.
  • Persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to stop, reduce, or control those behaviors.

There continues to be a debate on whether this is actually a disorder/disease or not. But, it’s funny how the term “sex addict” is carelessly thrown around every time a celebrity is caught with their pants down. There was Eric Benet, Kirk Franklin, Charlie Sheen, Tiger Woods, and now Russell Brand. People please understand that this is not a “Get Out of Jail Free” card. You just flat out cheated; now admit it and keep it moving.

So what did you learn today…I don’t believe that you are a “sex addict”. It’s a lame excuse, so just stop it!