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Open Season

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????  We all know what cheating is. And it’s something that’s frowned upon, but it still doesn’t deter a lot of people. But what about the gray areas? Here are some scenarios where some get confused (for whatever reason).

 

– Talking regularly and frequently on phone to the opposite sex. If you talk more to this person than your spouse, there’s a problem.

– Swapping nude photos. You must want something to go down.

– A lot of alone time with another man or woman, whether it’s at your house or theirs, or huddled up in the break room or cubicle. You look suspicious.

– Whispering or quickly walking away when you get a call. What are you saying that can’t be heard?

– Inappropriate touching. This needs no explanation whatsoever.

 

What would you add? Have you ever done these and were actually innocent? What about watching porn and masturbation? Would you consider those gray areas or cheating?

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If the World was Mine

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????  Could you have it all? Everything you ever wanted, all at the same time? Is it possible to have your dream job, a perfect marriage with mind blowing sex (and lots of love), the right amount of money to live comfortably (or the rich lifestyle, if that’s what you prefer), the perfect kids and house all at the same time?

The pessimist (or as I prefer to call it, realist) in me says no. For years, I was happy with my job, making a nice amount of money, and couldn’t find a decent man to date. It’s always everything BUT–something was always missing. Then there was another time, where I had a great relationship, no job and not much money, and situational depression. Was there ever a time in my life where I’ve had it all? Not a chance.

The optimist in my husband says yes, but with a twist. He believes that you can have all you want, all at the same time, but eventually what you want changes. For instance, say your goal is to buy a condo once you save up enough money and land that managerial position you’ve been patiently waiting on. Once you accomplish that goal, you formulate another goal or set of goals. You get everything you want until you want more or something different.

So what’s your take? Can you really have it all at the same time? Is it possible to be completely happy with who you are and what you have AND have all of what your heart desires all at one moment of time?

Enough Already

annoyed  Last week I wrote about celebrity scandals and reality tv. Today, I’m going to take it a step further and talk about celebrities acting up on recordings. Here are the top five annoying and played out scandalous tapes (so far):

– “Elevator Gate”= First of all, I’m sick of two out of three of the main characters on this tape. But I digress. People then want to laugh at the fact that Jay Z didn’t hit Solange back. What should he have done? Hit her back? Then he would’ve been even more wrong than her. What really made this tape annoying was three things. A). Beyonce stood there like a mannequin and didn’t bother to do shit. I would’ve at least broken it up or told Solange to stop, something! B). From jump, I believed that it was a publicity stunt. And what do you know, Solange’s invisible album got an increase in sales. C). They’re one big happy family. FAKE.

– Justin Bieber’s Racist Tapes= I have never like the “Biebs” and these pretty much seal the deal. We can’t even deport his ass cause Canada doesn’t want him either.

– Donald Sterling’s Tape= This whole situation began with a scorned lover. Do I believe that he was wrong about what he said on that tape? Yes. Do I think he should have to let the Clippers go because of it? No. He spoke his mind during a private conversation. Do you know how many people would not have jobs if they were taped without their knowledge? Everybody would be broke as hell collecting unemployment. He keeps getting caught saying racist shit, do you really think he’s going to stop and change his tune now?

– Mimi’s Sex Tape= What you do with your boo is your business. It shouldn’t be shoved down my throat. And then this broad complained about having to explain the tape to her daughter. You did it! Should’ve thought about that before embracing the porn industry. More importantly, who the hell are these people and where did they come from? I’ve never even heard of either of them before this.

– Kim Kardashian and Ray J Sex Tape= Sure, this tape didn’t appear this year, but I only bring it up because Ray J won’t let it go and we have to hear about it every time he opens his mouth. He’s just mad because Kim is “famous” and he’s only “Brandy’s brother.” Now he’s going around doing dumb shit to stay relevant. How bout this… do something with your life- both of you.

It Depends

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????   When a rapist says, “She kept saying ‘no and stop’ but I just didn’t stop,” it should be an open and shut case, right? Slam dunk? Not always. SMH

 

I read an article the other day about a rapist getting an extremely lenient sentence based on the young lady’s sexual history. Apparently the judge thought the victim “wasn’t the victim she claimed to be.” Excuse me? Oh yeah, did I mention that she was fourteen at the time?

 

It sickens me to hear that you can get raped, and depending on whether or not you’ve had sex before or have been pregnant before, will depend on the perp’s sentence. In this case, the rapist admitted to raping her but still got probation and sentenced to work at a rape crisis center. Really?? So only virgins can be raped? Ever heard of spousal rape or date rape? If you have sex with someone and you say no the next time, does that not count?

 

The young lady said that she was a virgin. They also claimed that the girl had an abortion that she also denies. In my opinion, it doesn’t matter if she slept with a whole basketball team, including the bench riders. If she said ‘no’ and ‘stop,’ the prep needs to be punished accordingly, not the victim. And the punishment should definitely be more than probation. An injustice like this makes it that much harder for females to speak up. How are we supposed to trust the justice system if it discounts the wrongdoing against us and doesn’t protect us?

Friendly Skies

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????  Is there a such thing as being friends with your ex? Before you come up with an answer, I mean truly Just Friends. Not friends with benefits. Not cordial. I’m talking platonic friends. My answer is…Hell No! Let me explain why.

 

For starters, if you still have feelings for them, then that consequently takes you out of the platonic category. You can’t make objective decisions in regards to your “friend” when you used to date them and probably still wishing you could. In fact, you are also automatically cock blocking when ya’ll hang out. I bet you think that there’s nothing wrong with talking and laughing it up with your ex, but to an outsider, ya’ll look quite comfy and cozy. And very much together.

 

Another case in point, whatever you’re doing with your ex is holding you back from finding the person who was truly meant for you. If they’re an ex, then it wasn’t meant to be. There’s no need to keep holding on to them.

 

You may argue that you don’t have feelings, ya’ll still date other people, and nothing is going on behind closed doors, but I bet that one or both of you are holding on for different reasons. You might like that she’s comfortable and on the other hand, he’s waiting for ya’ll to hop back into bed. He might love your company in general, and you make sure that she’s not seeing anyone special. Whatever the case may be, it’s most likely not the best decision you’ve ever made.


Trust me about this. I’m speaking from experience. I had an ex that for 1). held on, and 2). I let him. I didn’t realize that I was blocking my blessings. Once I completely let go, I moved on and found a healthy relationship with the one I was meant to be with. See how this works out and falls into place?

Is It?

cats  I read in an article yesterday about a question you shouldn’t ask your date, or should I say, the person you’re out with– “Is this a date?” One way to look at this is– if you really have to ask or think about it, then it probably isn’t. That’s a question that needs to be raised before your foot hits the pavement to go out. Where is this going? How do I feel about him/her? If the answers to any of these questions are negative, your best bet is that you aren’t on an official date.

Are there some gray areas? He’s feeling me, but it’s not mutual. He’s dating himself then. We really like each other, but we’re taking it slow. You’re getting to know each other, that’s not necessarily a date. Same pressure, but it’s just an outing. We’ve hung out for years. You don’t “date” for years. You’re either in a relationship for all that time or you’re not.

A “date” means that you are out with someone you share mutual feelings with (like or love). You also envision the date/dating going somewhere or having an overall purpose. Couples go out to explore their feelings for one another. If the couple decides to take it further, then they enter a relationship; if not, they stop the dating process.

“Just because,” “friends with benefits,” and hang out partners are not your dating partners, ladies and gentlemen. A one-sided equation or fake relationship doesn’t count.

Agree or disagree? Let’s hear your take on dating.

The Good Good

lips  Awe yeah! This is how we’re starting off the new year. SEX…LOVE…LOVING SEX…LOVING LOVE. Is there a difference between making love and sex? YES! Some prefer the quick and dirty. Others prefer to take their time and do it right. What does it depend on? The person? The timing? The place? All the above or none of the above?

Here are a few of the differences between making love and having sex.

1). Sex: You can have it with anyone; making love= it’s with someone special.

2). Sex: Can be meaningless; making love= meaningful.

3). Sex: Affects you physically; making love= affects you emotionally, physically, and perhaps even musically and spiritually.

4). Sex: Can be forgettable; making love= unforgettable.

5). Sex: Oftentimes without feeling; making love= intensely emotional.

6). Sex: Sometimes hurried; making love= you take your time.

7). Sex: There’s no time for passion; making love= you please every inch of your partner.

8). Making love= Long lasting foreplay; sex: kissing is the foreplay.

9). Making love= The goal is to please; sex: the goal is to get in and get out.

10). Making love= Sends a tingling feeling down your spine; sex: leaves you feeling like…when’s a good time to leave?

Don’t get me wrong, you can also have sex with a special person too. You can probably tell my preference between the two, but let me hear yours. Which do you prefer and why?