You Don’t Understand

  In the wake of Robin Williams’ death, there have been some comments made about suicide that some people just don’t understand. What many don’t get is that depression is a serious illness. It’s not something that you can just turn off and on when it’s convenient for you. It’s not something that you can just snap out of because somebody tells you to be happy. It is a mental illness.

 

Not all people with depression are suicidal. Suicide is not a requirement of depression, it’s a symptom. A person could be depressed but not think about killing themselves. They have feelings of things not being worth it (for example, not getting out of the bed, eating or planning for the future), hopelessness, negative thoughts about themselves, no energy, and so forth. A person who is truly depressed can feel all thirteen or so odd symptoms, or as little as three. If you do experience these things, don’t wait to get help assuming that it’ll work itself out or get better.

 

There are different types of depression, such as situational, atypical, seasonal affective, bipolar, major/clinical, psychotic, and a few others. Not all have the same symptoms. Not all sufferers attempt suicide or have suicidal thoughts. The one thing that I will say about suicide, in relation to those who suffer from depression, is that those who attempt or succeed are not selfish. These people have their reasons for doing it, but I guarantee one of those reasons is that they believe that they are much better off dead. My question is this… would you consider yourself selfish if you knew that I was suffering but you wanted me to live anyways?

 

What you don’t understand is that you don’t truly know what a person is going through when they make an attempt on their life. The constant negative thoughts they deal with in their heads and how they interpret the world is something we could never understand. It’s obvious that the cons outweigh the pros. But accusing those who commit suicide with a mental illness is a low blow. There is always a reason; just because we can’t see it, doesn’t mean that it’s not there.

The Tunnel

  Down in the dumps or just ‘sad’ cannot begin to describe a common mental health disease which effects one out of ten adults. Depression is a serious illness that is not taken as seriously as it should. Some believe that it’ll go away on its own. Or, “I’m not talking to no shrink.” Either way, problems don’t get solved and those individuals go undiagnosed, under the radar, or worse, wish for death. There are numerous types and symptoms of the disease.

Types

Major Depression: Clinical, long lasting, and debilitating.

Bipolar Depression: (This seems to be a fad. Not everyone who has mood swings has bipolar depression.). Here you have major ups (known as mania or manic episodes) and major lows (depression) which alternate.

Cyclothymia: Mild version of bipolar disorder.

Dysthymia: Chronic (more than two years), but less severe than Major Depression.

Seasonal Depression (SAD): This begins at the same time each year based on the season.

Postpartum: Depression kicks in usually one month after mothers give birth.

Atypical: Mild depression with bouts of happiness.

Psychotic: A mix of depression and psychotic features (i.e. hallucinations or delusions).

Situational: Basically, if you weren’t experiencing a particular situation, you wouldn’t have depression symptoms (ex. unemployment, health issues, mourning a death).

Symptoms

Overwhelming sadness, withdrawn, mood swings, crying episodes, appetite and sleep changes (too much or too little), suicidal thoughts, giving away possessions, feeling of worthlessness and feeling hopeless, void of feelings, loss of interest in activities, decreased energy. Children and teens may refuse to go to school, claim to have a lot of aches and pains, sulk a lot, or be clingy.

What’s Next

Some people hate taking pills. Some people don’t want to talk. There’s no cure all when it comes to depression. There are many things that you can do, but sitting back and waiting for the chips to fall as they may is not one of them (especially when children and teenagers are taking their own lives due to this disease).

– Talk with a mental health specialist (social worker, psychiatrist, counselor, therapist). That’s what they are trained to do. It is also part of their oath to be nonjudgmental. I know pride is why a lot of people don’t turn to professionals, but when you need help you need help.

– If you don’t talk to a professional, talk to someone who is close. It’s not healthy to keep everything bottled up. And believe it or not, communication is very therapeutic.

– Get prescription anti-depressants. You would have to see a psychiatrist for the prescription (and maybe even a therapist too).

– Don’t go at it alone, especially if you are suicidal. Spend time with family and friends who truly care about your well-being. Being alone at this time in particular is not safe.

-If you know someone who is depressed, don’t ignore the signs. Listen to them, be there, and encourage them to seek professional help (especially if they are suicidal or worse, homicidal). Depression is way deeper than just being sad or grumpy. It’s something to take seriously.

The Blues

  For some people, a break up is the greatest thing poppin.’ A new sense of freedom. No one to check in with. A return to the ‘very single’ status. However, there are some who don’t and cannot fully grasp the concept of being single and unattached. These are the people who can’t let go and want to hold on to something that’s broken and simply a memory.

Here are ten ways that prove that you are still not over your ex.

1. You still call, text, or email your ex. Why??

2. If your ex does call or text you, your stomach flutters. You just can’t wait to see what they say, whether it’s positive or negative.

3. Even if they dog you, you still don’t accept it. She tells you to drop dead and you laugh it off and honestly believe that she’s just joking. No. She’s serious. Move on before she starts plotting your demise.

4. You still know their schedule. If you’re looking at the clock at seven and know that his poker game is just starting with the boys, and at ten he’s just pulling in the driveway, find something else to do, especially at that time so you’re not clocking his every move. You’re missing out on your own life by living through his…separately.

5. You know everything about how your ex moved on. You know not only that they got a promotion at work and moved, but you also know that they are dating and the who, what, and why about that person. Get a life. He/she did.

6.  You punish your next boyfriend/girlfriend for stuff your ex did. This is the only time guys can say the infamous phrase, “It wasn’t me” and actually be telling the truth! Nobody likes being accused of something they didn’t do or your personal baggage being dumped on someone that has nothing to do with it. Get yourself straight first.

7. Date someone who looks just like your ex. What, you thought you can upgrade with his identical twin? Stop it.

8. They are still talking about it or depressed six months later…and beyond. This is where the professional help comes in. Get it.

9. You’re still holding onto hope. “He doesn’t realize that I’m all he needs.” If you’re still saying this six months…one year…two years later. Give it up. It’s over.

10. You befriend your ex’s best friends on FB to see what your ex is up to. There is a such thing as ‘cyber stalking’ and this is it. Feel good about yourself?

Everyone gets their heart broken at least once in their life. Make sure that you’re not going through the motions EVERY time you experience a break up. The more time you spend on someone who doesn’t want you, the less time you spend living and finding the person who actually does want you. He or she is out there. Stop wasting your precious time. Life is too short to WANT to be unhappy.