Tag Archive | Goals

New Beginnings

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????  As we have finally reached the new year, you already know what comes with the territory. New Year’s resolutions, including work out goals and a hope to be a better person. What usually follows is the breaking of those resolutions before the close of January. What I propose is something simple- creating a Don’t Bring list. Here are some things you should not bring into the new year if you want a clean slate and a fresh start.

1. Debt- I’m not talking 10Gs in student loans. I’m talking about paying off credit card bills, medical bills, or anything under a grand. Handle that. Whether you set up a payment plan or something. Don’t carry old bills or overdue bills into the new year.

2. Men’s Skinny Jeans- Granted, these shouldn’t have even been made in the first place, but they definitely should not be brought back this year for an encore.

3. Negativity from 2014- Why are you still carrying this baggage? Let it go. If you haven’t dealt with it before, why continue to hang on to it now?

4. Frenemies- Why continue to play nice or pretend to like someone you clearly do not? That just creates negativity, unnecessary drama, and clutter. Stop it and move on.

5. The phrase “turnt up” or any variation- This phase sickens me and needs to be put down for good. Please don’t let it seep into 2015!

6. Using children as pawns- Whether it’s to get back at or with someone, or to punish the child. Let us not forget that children are gifts and were not asked to be created. This past year, so many children made the news because their parent(s) left them unattended in the car, burned them, mutilated them, and so on for whatever so-called reason. These “parents” should’ve considered preventing pregnancy if they were going to ultimately hurt their child(ren). Let’s let 2015 be the year of loving our children or simply not having them if you think you’ll abuse them.

I wish you nothing but the best and truly believe that this is YOUR year. Take care of yourself and your family. Much love and many blessings for 2015!


If the World was Mine

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????  Could you have it all? Everything you ever wanted, all at the same time? Is it possible to have your dream job, a perfect marriage with mind blowing sex (and lots of love), the right amount of money to live comfortably (or the rich lifestyle, if that’s what you prefer), the perfect kids and house all at the same time?

The pessimist (or as I prefer to call it, realist) in me says no. For years, I was happy with my job, making a nice amount of money, and couldn’t find a decent man to date. It’s always everything BUT–something was always missing. Then there was another time, where I had a great relationship, no job and not much money, and situational depression. Was there ever a time in my life where I’ve had it all? Not a chance.

The optimist in my husband says yes, but with a twist. He believes that you can have all you want, all at the same time, but eventually what you want changes. For instance, say your goal is to buy a condo once you save up enough money and land that managerial position you’ve been patiently waiting on. Once you accomplish that goal, you formulate another goal or set of goals. You get everything you want until you want more or something different.

So what’s your take? Can you really have it all at the same time? Is it possible to be completely happy with who you are and what you have AND have all of what your heart desires all at one moment of time?

All Things Must Come to an End

NY  We have only a few days left of 2013. Some people have been planning for the 31st since January or may have started last week. This day is a big deal. Who you spend it with is just as important as what you do. When I was younger, staying in a night, especially the weekend, was not an option. As I have aged, the tables have definitely turned, since sitting on the couch with a small amount of people around me is my preference- even on weekends. So why should New Year’s be any different? Here are some cheaper and safer ways to spend New Year’s Eve (and remember what you did the next morning).

1. Couch love- There is nothing wrong with curling up on the couch, having a movie marathon and watching the ball drop at midnight. You are in the house; safe from drunk drivers and you are within your own four walls. You can’t beat that! If you can’t sit still on the couch, play a game with your family or make something together. The great thing about this suggestion is that you can feel free to be in your pajamas and curlers… all day long!

2. Reflection- Take the time to reflect on your year. What worked, what didn’t, what you would like to change (add or delete). With a new year comes a brand new start. This is the time to focus on making improvements and setting goals, but also, try not to overwhelm yourself so that you’re not setting yourself up for failure. Take one or two goals, set a timeline, and see it through completely. You will feel a lot more successful if you completed a goal versus having six incomplete goals on your plate.

I recently read an article in the Huffington Post about creating New Year’s themes, instead of resolutions. For instance, if you want to eat better and cook more, your goal would be ‘Nourish.’ If you want to try new places, travel, and do something spontaneous, your goal would be ‘Adventure.’ You get the picture. It’s worth a try.

3. House party- Similar to number one, post up at your own house, a friend’s house, or a family member’s house. You are with people you love and somewhere safe (hopefully). If you are not at your own home, please wait to leave after 12:30 or so. Give the crazies enough time for them to drive all over the road and for you and your loved ones to get home safely.

How are you spending your New Year’s Eve?

Actin Brand New

bubbly   It’s the beginning of a brand new year. If you’re like me, you’ve been thinking, “2013- that’s going to be MY year.” New beginnings, fresh start, clean slate. When you think of January 1st, we automatically start thinking of a list of resolutions that we know full well that aren’t gonna make it past January. So what can we do instead? Instead develop short term and long term goals and maybe even a timeline to help you help yourself. {If you literally moaned and groaned about me asking you to do “too much work,” read this article to its entirety first and then decide your fate:)}


What is the point of all this?

The point is to shoot for something. To give yourself direction and purpose. Nobody wants to feel defeated or to walk around and not have a purpose. There’s no better feeling than feeling like you’ve achieved something. A lot of times when we make New Year’s resolutions, we do it verbally. But with goals, these need to be written down and followed step by step. Last year, I wrote a blog about vision boards. These are very much acceptable too. Anything to get your mind and body moving towards success.

 Aren’t goals just like resolutions?

Yes and no. Goals can be things that you want to change or improve, but they are also there to hold you accountable. Accountability is so important. That’s your motivation. You put it in writing, so now you have to back it up. Resolutions, on the other hand, can be broken and forgotten within two weeks.

What am I supposed to do with these goals?

Write them out. Be specific as possible but don’t have too many. Too many goals are just like too many rules in the classroom- overwhelming. Create two or three goals and write out measurable steps to get there. Imagine what it would look like if you accomplished your goals and work backwards, if that helps. After you have written out your goals, you need to display them somewhere; somewhere where you can see them all the time. I recently read somewhere that if other people see what you’re working towards, they might hold you accountable too and maybe even check in every now and then to see if you are still on track.

What do you mean by timeline?

Draw up a timeline of when you want your goals met. For short term goals, maybe goal one can be achieved in three months. After that is out of the way, maybe you can write in goal two for the following month, and so on. For long term goals, you could perhaps make a One Year, Five Year, Ten Year spreadsheet instead. Either way, your timeline needs to be visible so that you can see if you’re on track.

Ladies and gentlemen, just look at this as a blueprint of your future and take it from there. You can’t complain about not getting what you want if you sit back and wait for it to come your way. Sometimes you just gotta go out there and get it yourself. Good luck!

My Associate

  I sometimes think back to my younger days when Everybody was my friend. You would buy the whole class a little Valentine’s Day card, bring in cupcakes for your friends, throw slumber parties, etc. Those were the days. But it wasn’t until you hit high school (some people took a longer amount of time to figure it out) until you realized who your friends really were. Those same people you were calling best friends in middle school, are ya’ll still cool now? The ones you swore you would forever K.I.T. (Keep In Touch) with, do you? Now I do understand that some people grow out of friendships, but I’m talking about the true friendships that do last.

There is a HUGE difference between Friend and Associate. For those who are confused, let me break it down.

FRIENDS: You can call on until you get on their nerves. You can cry on their shoulder. You can call them at two or even seven in the morning. You will give them your very last. You know what can make them laugh, cry, smile, and frown. You take care of them when or if you need to. You genuinely care and love them.

ASSOCIATES: Only see them when you just happen to run into them. You may call them, but it’s only on holidays. You can’t count on them. You don’t even know their sibling’s name. You don’t know where they live or where they’re from. You don’t care about them.

Once you have finished reading this list, take some time to think about the people in your life. Which category do most of the people around you fit in? What are you to other people? I heard a long time ago that people have about three TRUE friends in their life. Figure out those three and let them know how much you care about them and what they mean to you.

Things That Make You Say Hmm…

   Below are some quotes that I believe are worth sharing. Feel free to add some that you believe in or live by. Enjoy:)

Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. All it does is taint your mind and steal your joy.


Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still.
Chinese Proverb

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
Helen Keller

Dreams are the touchstones of our character.
Henry David Thoreau

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don’t count the days, make the days count.

Muhammad Ali

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.

George Washington Carver

Everything in your world is created by what you think.

Oprah Winfrey

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.

Barack Obama

It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.

Lena Horne

Spring Cleaning

  Summer begins around this time next week, but are you truly ready for it? Spring cleaning goes beyond your typical cleaning routine (ex. cleaning out your closet, donating your unused items, cleaning your house, etc.), it also includes cleansing yourself in general.

When I speak of “cleansing yourself”, I mean cleansing your life, body, and soul. Are you holding on to something or someone that you know you shouldn’t? An ex, a jerk you’re dating, baggage, regret, shame? It’s time to move on and cleanse. When you hold onto all of these negative thoughts, emotions, and situations, that effects your health, social life, and your overall happiness. Below are a few ways to cleanse yourself. Even if you are currently drama free, you can still enhance your well-being by engaging in a couple of these here and there.

1. Exercise- self-explanatory.

2. Meditation- for the people who actually know how to be quiet and be by themselves for a minute.

3. Pray- you can overcome any and everything with God on your side. The words ‘stressed’ and ‘blessed’ don’t go together, so which one are you?

4. Massage- full body, back, or even just feet, it doesn’t matter. All are extremely relaxing and once you learn how to really relax, you can zone out your troubles.

5. Communication- find someone to talk to or talk it out with the person who actually caused your stress. But here’s the thing…don’t dwell on it! If you are going through a break up, for example, your ex should not be the sole topic of conversation for two months straight. Get A Life!

6. Facial, pedicure, or a makeover- also self-explanatory.

7. Get rid of the stress makers and steer clear of them for good (ex. If you dump someone, don’t keep going back and keeping in contact with them. How do you expect to move on?).

8. Bubble bath- you can even jazz it up with some scented candles and soft music. Just soaking is so relaxing, and much like a massage, your mind can wander to another place more soothing.

9. Wine- not a bottle, but a glass to unwind.

10. A comedy movie- laughing is healthy for you and can turn your whole day around. Next time you’re in a bad mood, pop in Harlem Nights and then see how you feel afterwards. I guarantee that you won’t be thinking about ol’ what’s-his-face.

11. Changing your hair style or even just adding some color could brighten up your day.

12. Retail therapy- shopping for a new wardrobe can just as easily lift your spirits.

What are some ways you like to cleanse?