Tag Archive | happiness

Springtime

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????  Sometimes we get so bogged down with stress from our jobs, children, school, home life, that we forget the many blessings that we have. Our simple pleasures.

– A hug

– A smile

– A warm blanket fresh from the dryer

– A full tank of gas

– A good movie

– Snuggling

– Fresh flowers

– A hot shower

– A hearty laugh

– A completed task

– A clean house or laundry

– Seeing your besttie

– A slice of cheesecake or chocolate cake

– A massage

– The big O

Don’t let worry and nonsense take away your happiness and peace. Enjoy your night.

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An Open Letter to My Son

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????  Dear Unborn Son,

I’ve been so blessed to have you in my life. You have brought a love and joy to me that I have never felt before.

There are some things that I need to explain to you. You will experience unconditional love here at home, however, beyond these walls, you will have a totally different experience. As a man of color, you will experience many difficulties. You won’t be treated like the prince that you are, instead, you will feel the need to have to prove that you’re worthy. It’s unfortunate, but it’s reality. Your family loves you, but keep in mind, other people won’t because of your skin color.

Baby Boy, I feel sorry for you, but I applaud you. I know that you won’t let other people put you down. You’ll be ambitious, full of hopes, dreams, and accomplishments. You’ll hold your head high and become whatever you put your mind to. I know you will be a king to the right queen and eventually become a wonderful father, following in your father’s footsteps, of course.

Stay strong. I love you more than words can ever describe.

 

Love,

Your mother

An Open Letter to My Daughter

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????  Dear Unborn Daughter,

You are the most precious gift that I could be blessed with and I am so honored to be your mother. As a true mother, like my mother is to me, I will be with you every step of the way.

There are some things that I would like to share with you. I hate to disappoint you so early in life, but you have to know the truth. People, me included, thought that the world was going to be such a better place to live in once the new millennium hit (after some realized that it indeed was NOT going to end). We would all live in peace and harmony, everyone would be equal, this and this would be different, etc. Welp, I’m sorry to inform you, baby girl, but it’s not. We lied to ourselves; continuously and consistently.

In some ways we have gone backwards and some forwards. For instance, you don’t have but a couple (literally) celebrity role models. If you turn on the TV, you see women screaming at each other and throwing drinks or fists. In music, the women compete over who has the least amount of clothes and no talent. For role models, you’ll only have to look inside your space- our house, your grandparent’s houses, and extended family’s. I must warn you, all humans make mistakes, including your role models, but best believe that we would do nothing to harm you or steer you wrong in any way.

One way in which we have moved forward is technology. You are blessed to have a tech geek as a father who is more than happy to get you any and every type of thing that either has buttons or a touch screen. But, don’t go overboard on it. Know that I would rather see you than Skype, talk to you than text, read to you with real books than with the swipe of a finger.

From this moment on, you will consider yourself a treasure and demand people to treat you that way based on the way that you carry yourself. Am I saying that you should be Boigie or stuck up? No, but you should instead exert enough confidence and love for yourself that will make people, including yourself, respect you.

I love you more than anything in this world, and I vow from now on to care for you to the best of my ability and beyond.

 

Love,

Your mother

Tears of Joy

sunset2  There comes a time when all of the negativity from your life simply disappears and happiness creeps in with a vengeance.

+ Win first place (or even just place)

+ Graduation

+ Birth of a child

+ Wedding

+ See the light at the end of the tunnel after a struggle

+ Visit a friend or family member after you haven’t seen them in a long time

+ Completion

+ Newness (ex. new house, job, etc.)

+ Closure

+ Peace

+ Family and true friends

+ Realizing how blessed you are

If the World was Mine

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????  Could you have it all? Everything you ever wanted, all at the same time? Is it possible to have your dream job, a perfect marriage with mind blowing sex (and lots of love), the right amount of money to live comfortably (or the rich lifestyle, if that’s what you prefer), the perfect kids and house all at the same time?

The pessimist (or as I prefer to call it, realist) in me says no. For years, I was happy with my job, making a nice amount of money, and couldn’t find a decent man to date. It’s always everything BUT–something was always missing. Then there was another time, where I had a great relationship, no job and not much money, and situational depression. Was there ever a time in my life where I’ve had it all? Not a chance.

The optimist in my husband says yes, but with a twist. He believes that you can have all you want, all at the same time, but eventually what you want changes. For instance, say your goal is to buy a condo once you save up enough money and land that managerial position you’ve been patiently waiting on. Once you accomplish that goal, you formulate another goal or set of goals. You get everything you want until you want more or something different.

So what’s your take? Can you really have it all at the same time? Is it possible to be completely happy with who you are and what you have AND have all of what your heart desires all at one moment of time?

Light My Fire

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????  What is romance? How important is it? Romance is the expression of love and one’s deepest desire to connect with another. I believe this to be a fifty-fifty split between actions and emotions. Sure we all know how romantic a bubble bath with rose petals floating in the water is, but the art of romance stems from a person’s inner being or feelings. You have to have the thought behind the action. For example, my Valentine’s blog (“How to Avoid Sleeping on the Couch Valentine’s Day Night”) offered some suggestions on gifts to give the special woman in your life. There’s a huge difference between coming in the house and saying, “Here” and throwing a box of chocolates in your direction, versus setting up a treasure hunt with love messages and a piece of chocolate at every stop. You get my drift.

Romance is extremely important and a vital way to keep a relationship alive. Without it is like a fish out of water; suffocating and a part of both of you dying slowly. It is spontaneous. It is special. It is a golden moment that you both can cherish and have that conversation years later saying, “Remember when we/you… “. Don’t forget, ladies and gentlemen, you did something to attract the attention of your mate and to keep them interested long enough to be in a committed, loving relationship, so why not keep that going? Why wait til Valentine’s Day to give your woman something special? Why wait til Father’s Day to let you man know that he’s a great father? We all know that relationships are hard work and require a lot of maintenance to keep it fresh, so why not brush up on your intimacy skills right now.

– Hold a conversation about your personal goals, hopes, aspirations, dreams, and future together as a couple.
– Draw a bath for your mate.
– Slow dance.
– Make out (Yeah, I said it. Kissing is very passionate and also just as important in a relationship. And I’m not talking about “grandma” pecks!).
– Touching.
– Feeding each other.
– Using candles.
– Dinner without the television.
– Cuddling.
– Hugs and holding each other.

Remember that what you put in to a relationship is the same as what you will get out of it, and that relationships are all about give and take. What are some of your ideas? How do you keep your relationship alive and kickin’?

I’m Ready

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????  When you’re young, many people set up an overall timeline and specific expectations for yourselves; when you’ll get married, how many children you’ll have, where you’ll live, your occupation, and so on. As you age, reality hits and you realize that oftentimes those were either pipe dreams, needed to be added a lot further down on your timeline, or not what you really wanted. The one thing you cannot easily predict is when you’ll get married.

 

When I was growing up, for some reason or another twenty-six was the magic age of when I would get hitched. I’ll get married at 26 and finish having kids by 30. By the time I hit 22, I was teetering on whether to even get married. A friend of mine and I even made a pact that if we weren’t married or in the process by 30, we were going to become nuns. By 26, marriage was off the table and I just wanted a long-term boyfriend (and maybe we could live together after some years). It’s funny how time changes you and life transforms you, your thoughts, your priorities and standards.

 

Is there a best age to get married? Yes, but you cannot predict it. Only time can tell when you are mentally, physically, financially, and emotionally ready. Once you’ve reached that point, then that is the perfect age. When you’re twelve, you cannot say how put together you’ll be twenty years from then because shit happens. Also, if your age ends in -teen, then I definitely think you’re too young to be thinking about what ‘forever’ means. I do, however, believe that if you aren’t ready on all of those different levels then you shouldn’t even attempt. Marriage is an investment; time, effort, financial- the works. Nowadays, people (especially celebrities) only prepare for the wedding and not the marriage or the future. That’s purely immature thinking from a person who is clearly not ready. You’ll know when that time comes.

 

What’s your take on this? Did you have a specific timeline for marriage and family? And if so, did you meet your goals on time?