Tag Archive | Lust

Creative Luv

v day  Trying to come up with some different things to do with your family on Valentine’s Day? Here are a few ideas that you can use with your family and some as a couple. Enjoy:)

Arts & Crafts

+ Homemade cards- A great way to say exactly how you feel.

+ Homemade gifts- Homemade gifts are sometimes the best. It shows that you put much effort and thought into what you’re making. For example, a  jewelry box- take a wooden box and decorate it with paint, glitter, rhinestones, etc.

+ Picture collage- Choose some of your favorite pictures of your family, friends, neighbors (or whoever you treasure) and make a collage- instagram doesn’t count!

Games

+ Bingo- Make your own bingo card or download one (I’m sure you don’t have to reinvent the wheel) that has Valentine’s Day items on there.

+ Hug tag- Tag with a twist. Play regular tag, using the same rules, except instead of tagging people, hug them. Or you can switch it up and kiss. Please don’t kiss people on the lips. You don’t know where everybody’s been. The cheek works wonders too.

+ Scavenger hunt- This requires much planning time, but I’m sure it’ll be worth it and fun too (if Peter Griffin can put one together, I’m SURE you can too)!

After Dark

+ Dice game- You know what I’m talking about. Roll those dice and see what you get to kiss, lick, massage, or whatever!

+ Massage- This is not the time to use lotion. Whip out those smell good oils and rub your partner down.

+ Use food- This is definitely the night to turn your partner into a sundae and eat it off of them;)

Other

+ Love letter/notes- Kind of like a card, but better. Leave your significant other a nice love note somewhere where they can find it that truly expresses the way you feel. If you’re really creative, stick a poem in that you wrote.

+ Kissing booth- Set up a place in the house where you can give out kisses for pennies, a cookie, or whatever “toll” you want to enforce.

+ Cook together- This is a great way to bond and plenty of time to communicate with your partner and/or children.

+ Candlelight dinner- Once you finish cooking, light some candles and enjoy each other’s company with no TV, no kids, and no distractions.

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The Good Good

lips  Awe yeah! This is how we’re starting off the new year. SEX…LOVE…LOVING SEX…LOVING LOVE. Is there a difference between making love and sex? YES! Some prefer the quick and dirty. Others prefer to take their time and do it right. What does it depend on? The person? The timing? The place? All the above or none of the above?

Here are a few of the differences between making love and having sex.

1). Sex: You can have it with anyone; making love= it’s with someone special.

2). Sex: Can be meaningless; making love= meaningful.

3). Sex: Affects you physically; making love= affects you emotionally, physically, and perhaps even musically and spiritually.

4). Sex: Can be forgettable; making love= unforgettable.

5). Sex: Oftentimes without feeling; making love= intensely emotional.

6). Sex: Sometimes hurried; making love= you take your time.

7). Sex: There’s no time for passion; making love= you please every inch of your partner.

8). Making love= Long lasting foreplay; sex: kissing is the foreplay.

9). Making love= The goal is to please; sex: the goal is to get in and get out.

10). Making love= Sends a tingling feeling down your spine; sex: leaves you feeling like…when’s a good time to leave?

Don’t get me wrong, you can also have sex with a special person too. You can probably tell my preference between the two, but let me hear yours. Which do you prefer and why?

Sharing is Caring?

shh2  I love the phrase, “Sharing is caring,” but sometimes it should not be carried out. Of course you want to swap stories, share an appetizer, and maybe even clothes (some of you). But there are three things in particular that you should not share with friends (or even best friend).

1). Talk about sex: Sure sharing juicy details is very entertaining and sometimes fun, but the line has to be drawn somewhere. If you talk too much about how great it feels when he throws your leg up or she strokes you, then maybe they want to see for themselves. Sometimes less is better…and this is one of those times.

2). Your mate: I shouldn’t have to spell this out, and especially not why you shouldn’t share who you’re married to or in a relationship with. It’s trifling to mess with a friend’s mate, period.

3). Toys: And I’m not talking about Tonka. First of all, that’s gross. Secondly, it’s not sanitary. I can’t even see a scenario I would be in where this would even be a question, but hey, shit happens…with other people.

How did everything become sex related?? Definitely not on purpose. Is there anything else you would add to the list?

Always a Sign

thirsty  The older you get or once your friends get married, it often leaves single friends wanting a monogamous relationship even more. You may go out more. Ask a friend to hook you up. You may even dress up a little nicer. Normal, right? Yes. However, there are some things that are the total opposite of this. The correct term for this wack behavior is called: thirsty. Let me explain what I’m talking about by using examples.

* Your girlfriend calls to catch up after not talking for a while. You tell her what you’ve been up to- work is stressful, money is being stretched a little too thin, spouse is good, etc. Now it’s your girlfriend’s time to catch up and all she can talk about is her chasing after some man who doesn’t want her. There may be ONE line about work, but it’s usually, “Work is work” or “Work is good,” but then the next forty-five minutes is dedicated to a man who’s “just not that into you.” So thirsty– you just wanna hang on to whatever so you have something to talk about.

* A man continues to call a woman everyday who does not answer or call him back. Eventually, he becomes satisfied with listening to her voice on her voicemail. So thirsty. Next thing you know, he’ll go out and buy a blow up doll and tape your picture on the head.

* You think that every man or woman that passes by and smiles at you is interested. So thirsty.

* You want to get noticed by anyone. You may stick out your chest in a crowded room (if you’re a woman), speak loudly so the focus is on you at all times, etc. So thirsty.

* You call a family member or a friend to get in touch with someone you’re interested in…but they don’t respond to your advances, time and time again. So thirsty.

Whomp, whomp. Stop throwing yourself at people. It makes you look crazy and extra desperate. So unattractive.

Open For Business

open  More and more these days you hear about couples who enjoy having their cake and eating it too- with permission. What I’m talking about is participating in open relationships. When it comes to marriage, what makes a person secure enough to engage in this type of arrangement? Do these couples not like the thought of monogamy or believe that they can’t stay monogamous? Is there a difference between having an open relationship versus swinging?

Someone wrote to one of my favorite authors to ask for advice. In a nutshell, she met this guy and later found out that he had a live-in girlfriend. The girlfriend called her and they compared notes about the last few months or so of them dating. Together, they confronted the guy and he wanted to stay with both women, and eventually the couple asked the woman to move in with them (kids and all).

Many couples who come out or are even accused of being swingers are harshly criticized (ex. Will and Jada, MoNique and her husband). Some believe that they are incapable of loving their partner since they are having sex with others. Some think that they just get around (swingers or not, it doesn’t mean that they think about or look for sex all the time). Some believe that it’s not a committed marriage.

In the open and swinging couple’s defense, maybe a little spice spruces up their marriage. Maybe it’s for couples where one of the partners cannot have sex (for example, one person is paralyzed or just doesn’t enjoy sex, so they allow their partner to self indulge). Maybe they just like experimenting and exploring.

Some questions to consider (if you’re thinking about participating): 1). How will you feel after; 2). Is everything fair game or are there still cheating rules; 3). What if the freedom feels too good and you don’t want your partner anymore? Also, not only are you bringing another person into your bed, but increasing the possibility of STD’s, unwanted pregnancies, etc.

Now granted, I’m not particularly for this type of arrangement, but I’m just trying to gain some understanding about it. Can anybody share some insight?

The Guest List

cake  Weddings are (mostly) beautiful and intimate. But most of all, they are expensive. The last thing an engaged couple needs to worry about is inviting everybody and their mama- literally. Having been through the process recently, I’d like to give a little advice for those who are going through the process themselves. It can be overwhelming trying to figure out who stays on the list and who goes, but the following people should definitely not get a second thought. Here are the top five people to never invite to your wedding.

1. Your jealous friend or “frenemy”… if this is a fake friend or someone who is not truly happy for you taking this major step in your life, they don’t need to be a part of it. You need to reconsider the nature of your friendship and if this person deserves to be in your life.

2. Your ex… your past has no business being invited into your future. Period.

3. Someone you hardly know… this could be a long lost relative, a coworker, or someone you’ve only known for a month. You are paying for their plate of food. And for what?

4. A friend of a friend… you don’t even know them for real! You know them through someone else. How intimate is that?

5. Estranged parents… I understand that this may be harsh, but if your parent hasn’t been a parent and a part of your life, why would you include them in your special day? I’m not talking about you having a fight and you haven’t talked to your mom or dad in a week or two. I’m talking three plus years. They won’t be able to spot you on the street type of deal. You have to be selective in who’s involved in your special day, so save your uninvolved parent invite for a family reunion.

Me Time

lotion  Years ago, I took a class in Marriage & Other Intimate Relationships. Being the lover that I am of psychology and sociology, I was drawn to learn what makes people tick and whatever else I could learn about relationships as a whole. One night in particular, we discussed an aspect of sexuality that I never saw as an issue. Masturbation.

The question was: Is it considered cheating if you masturbate while you’re in a monogamous relationship (I’m not counting dating, just committed relationships and married couples)?

My immediate response was no. I didn’t see what the big deal was and I still don’t. For example, say your partner is out of town and you’re feeling a little frisky. Should you wait until they come back or handle your business? Am I saying that whenever you feel the urge, you should go solo? No. You should always turn to your spouse first. All I’m saying is that I don’t think it’s wrong to take care of yourself from time to time.

There was one lady in my class that got really heated during the conversation. We didn’t go back and forth (she did that with someone else though), but we definitely didn’t see eye to eye. She saw it as cheating because “his sperm belonged to me.” Yes, she actually said that. She went on to say that her husband should only have sex with her and nothing or nobody else.

Like I said, I never saw it as a big thing, just as long as it’s not out of control or obsessive. What are your thoughts? Do you view masturbating as cheating?