Tag Archive | Obsession

Open Season

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????  We all know what cheating is. And it’s something that’s frowned upon, but it still doesn’t deter a lot of people. But what about the gray areas? Here are some scenarios where some get confused (for whatever reason).

 

– Talking regularly and frequently on phone to the opposite sex. If you talk more to this person than your spouse, there’s a problem.

– Swapping nude photos. You must want something to go down.

– A lot of alone time with another man or woman, whether it’s at your house or theirs, or huddled up in the break room or cubicle. You look suspicious.

– Whispering or quickly walking away when you get a call. What are you saying that can’t be heard?

– Inappropriate touching. This needs no explanation whatsoever.

 

What would you add? Have you ever done these and were actually innocent? What about watching porn and masturbation? Would you consider those gray areas or cheating?

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TMI

caution2  Ever have a girlfriend who would tell you their whole life story when you only ask them, ‘How are you?’ What about a co-worker? A stranger? A lot of times the oversharing is so unnecessary and totally uncomfortable. I didn’t ask to hear about the who, what, where, why, and when of your brother’s ex-girlfriend’s surgery, or even what you went through in order to get to work this morning. Who cares!

 

People like that have at least three things going on: a. They don’t have anything of substance really going on in their life and they hope that you will share just as much as they do; b. They just like to talk (too damn much), especially about themselves; c. They are attempting to forget all of the effed up shit that’s going on in their own home.

 

Let me give you some examples. A is the type of person who will share things about everyone else in their life but themselves, unless something catastrophic happens. For instance, I don’t know where you live, but I know all about your brother and his dysfunctional relationship. “So what’s going on in your world,” I’ll pass, because the playing field is not even. I heard all about your brother without even asking and nothing about you, but you want to get all up in my business? No thanks.

 

B people have an ‘all or nothing’ approach; everything is either beyond fantastic in their life, or everything is horrible. So their conversation, for example, is more so about how they are the best lover, but in the next sentence, they talk about how everyone is trying to play them. They bring so much drama to their own lives that they don’t need friends, they need a therapist– someone who will actually want to talk to them and someone who will tell them in a polite way that it’s not always about them.

 

A C person is a person is a blend of the two; they talk about their surroundings and their life– every gory detail. For instance, I should not know everyone in your family by name and all of their ailments.

 

The problem I have with all of these people is that quite frankly, I don’t give a damn about your personal business and stop hoping that I will divulge as much as you. There are some things that don’t need to be discussed. Just let it be. These are the same people who are doing as much talking about you behind your back to someone else. I’d rather not spill my tea, thank you very much.

Always a Sign

thirsty  The older you get or once your friends get married, it often leaves single friends wanting a monogamous relationship even more. You may go out more. Ask a friend to hook you up. You may even dress up a little nicer. Normal, right? Yes. However, there are some things that are the total opposite of this. The correct term for this wack behavior is called: thirsty. Let me explain what I’m talking about by using examples.

* Your girlfriend calls to catch up after not talking for a while. You tell her what you’ve been up to- work is stressful, money is being stretched a little too thin, spouse is good, etc. Now it’s your girlfriend’s time to catch up and all she can talk about is her chasing after some man who doesn’t want her. There may be ONE line about work, but it’s usually, “Work is work” or “Work is good,” but then the next forty-five minutes is dedicated to a man who’s “just not that into you.” So thirsty– you just wanna hang on to whatever so you have something to talk about.

* A man continues to call a woman everyday who does not answer or call him back. Eventually, he becomes satisfied with listening to her voice on her voicemail. So thirsty. Next thing you know, he’ll go out and buy a blow up doll and tape your picture on the head.

* You think that every man or woman that passes by and smiles at you is interested. So thirsty.

* You want to get noticed by anyone. You may stick out your chest in a crowded room (if you’re a woman), speak loudly so the focus is on you at all times, etc. So thirsty.

* You call a family member or a friend to get in touch with someone you’re interested in…but they don’t respond to your advances, time and time again. So thirsty.

Whomp, whomp. Stop throwing yourself at people. It makes you look crazy and extra desperate. So unattractive.

Just Shut Up

frustrated  A lot of times, people fear becoming the grouchy old person that people hate (and the hate is definitely mutual) because they constantly fuss about things that they don’t like. I’m not one of those people. Slowly but surely my tolerance level has become more and more like a grouchy old person’s, and quite frankly, I don’t give a damn. There are some words and phrases that if I didn’t hear them ever again, I would be on top of the world! Here are the top six most annoying words or phrases that I want to go away ASAP (and this time they are ranked in order).

#6. “Something of that nature”- This may be because an old boss that I didn’t care for used to say this all the time. When this is said in every other sentence, it would bother you too.

#5. “Copacetic”- This is something else I heard constantly repeated and now I hate. This word needs to disappear for LIFE.

#4. “Twerk”- First of all, Miley Cyrus did not invent this. I wish people would stop acting brand new. Obviously, they’ve never seen Strawberry work the pole on Saturday nights. This word is overrated and it’s annoying how now people want to show that they can do it too. Sit down and stop it. As far as I’m concerned, leave it to the professional strippers and stop posting bare-assed pictures of yourself doing this foolishness.

#3. “Keep it 100” or “Keep it real”- If you’re being real, you shouldn’t have to point it out.

#2. “Turn up”- This is one of the most annoying trends off all time. How ‘bout ‘turn off?’

#1. “Must be nice”- This drives me up a wall. Basically, instead of saying, “I’m jealous,” this is a way to pretty it up and it gets on my nerves. Try something a little more positive, you ass.

What would you add?

Not Love

confused  After a few months of dating someone, you start to really put your feelings into perspective. Do I love him? Am I in love with her? Do I even still like them? Unless you’re in one of those ‘Just because’ relationships like I discussed before, you will have at least one of these type of conversations in your head or maybe even with your best friend. But, has there ever been a time when you’ve been totally confused? Well…here are some things to help you figure out whether you are being loved or you truly love someone.

– You have to fight to spend time with them= I don’t know what this would be called, but a person who truly loves you, hates for you to leave and looks forward to seeing you again. You make time for the person you love…period.

– You are still having sex with someone else= Even though this is a no brainer, I think it’s an important factor to list.

– They are following you (or vice versa)= And I don’t necessarily mean on Twitter. What I mean is, you’re working out and you look up and they’re staring at you from across the room.  They leave you notes on your car or in your mailbox. They know your every move. This is not love. This is an obsession or simply a crazy stalker.

– Control= When you feel the need to control a person, this isn’t love. It’s called insecurity. I’ve touched on this before, but I don’t mind repeating it. If you feel the need to control what a person does at every waking moment, maybe you’re in need of a child. A child needs guided structure because they don’t know any better, not adults.

– Unsupportive= If they are only by your side for your ups (ex. you won the lottery, got some free tickets to a game, got a raise) and vanish during your downs, the love isn’t there. Pay close attention to who’s there to bring you OJ and Tussin when you are too sick to go to work.

– Abusive= Abuse does not always have to be physical. There’s also emotional and psychological abuse. Regardless of what type you may be dishing or receiving…THIS IS NOT LOVE. A person who loves you would do anything to not cause you pain.

-Lack trust= No trust, no love. Just as simple as that.

– Doesn’t care= If you don’t care about a person’s well-being or being a part of their future, you don’t need a crystal ball to tell you that there’s no love in the cards for this relationship.

– Not a priority= This goes along with the first bullet point. If you would rather spend time with your boys/girls, or you attend events by yourself or take someone other than who you’re involved with, or you spend three or four days in a row not seeing or speaking to that person (and you haven’t been in a recent argument)…then you are not a priority to them and they do not love you.

Love is a tricky emotion that is not to be played with. The purpose of a soulmate is to find the one you love and deeply connect with. And if you are wasting your time on someone who doesn’t love you or vice versa, you’re preventing yourself from finding The One and true happiness.

The Bermuda Triangle

  Some men and some women are equally crazy in regards to this topic, and this is something that has puzzled me for years. Now, this question is only for the mentally unstable. Umm… when your man or woman steps out on you (or you believe it to be true), why do you attack the other person? And by attack, yes I do mean physically, as well as verbally.

Yes, I understand why a person would be upset at both parties, but guess what? The third party is not the one who is committed to you! How about confronting the person you are in the relationship with and getting to the root of the issue of them cheating? Or even just dropping them?

The whole idea of confronting or attacking the third person, I believe, has to do moreso with ego, jealousy, and pride. “How dare you try to take my man away. You may have had him for the night, but he comes home to me.” Yeah, right after he’s finished.

Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve gotta be smart about this and mature. Although it may be comforting to put someone who needed it in their place, you’re going about it the wrong way if your sole mission is to hurt a person who has nothing to do with you. If you think your relationship is worth saving, you would go to the source. All this keying the other woman’s car, fights, threatening phone calls, etc. are for the birds. Grow up and handle your business as mature adults. Talk it out as a couple.

Thank you and good night.

The Hunt

   As little girls, women are programmed a certain way (intentionally or not) in Cinderella-mode. As children, we watch movie classics such as Cinderella, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, etc. and are conditioned at a young age to believe that your prince is going to come (your one and only true love), on a white horse, and you are going to live happily ever after. Does this happen in real life? Uh…no. But that’s not the question. It’s much deeper than that. It is ingrained in women early that marriage is going to produce the ultimate completeness and happiness. So I will pose two questions for tonight. One, do you believe that marriage is the key to personal happiness and being “whole”? And two, do you believe that women try to find husbands more often than men try to find wives?

These two questions may appear to be from two different atmospheres, but let me connect the dots for you. As I previously stated, fairytales portray young women as looking for their husband as their main quest. Oftentimes, it’s viewed as the female’s ultimate goal; ‘Okay, I found my husband’…roll credits. I feel sorry for girls who grow into adults who maintain this mentality. There are many women lurking around in the world who search near and far for a husband to complete them, but rarely do I ever hear of a man doing anything remotely close to this. Does this exist?

My personal answer to the first question is no. Even though research shows that married women are overall happier than single women, does not mean that a ring caused that happiness. In order to be an equal partner and to have a decent relationship, you have to be complete first. You shouldn’t go into a relationship and half-ass it. You shouldn’t go into a relationship if you can’t give it your all. And, more importantly, you shouldn’t be in a relationship if you solely depend on another human being to make you happy. That’s just not healthy or realistic (plus a lot of unnecessary pressure on your partner).

In regards to the second question, I whole-heartedly believe that women look for marriage more than men. I don’t see guys stressing about being married by thirty or when they are exactly going to find “The One”. It’s women who worry about their biological clocks ticking deafening them and desperately wanting the white horse and carriage in their late twenties or early thirties, like it’s last call.

What’s your take on this topic?