If the World was Mine

  Could you have it all? Everything you ever wanted, all at the same time? Is it possible to have your dream job, a perfect marriage with mind blowing sex (and lots of love), the right amount of money to live comfortably (or the rich lifestyle, if that’s what you prefer), the perfect kids and house all at the same time?

The pessimist (or as I prefer to call it, realist) in me says no. For years, I was happy with my job, making a nice amount of money, and couldn’t find a decent man to date. It’s always everything BUT–something was always missing. Then there was another time, where I had a great relationship, no job and not much money, and situational depression. Was there ever a time in my life where I’ve had it all? Not a chance.

The optimist in my husband says yes, but with a twist. He believes that you can have all you want, all at the same time, but eventually what you want changes. For instance, say your goal is to buy a condo once you save up enough money and land that managerial position you’ve been patiently waiting on. Once you accomplish that goal, you formulate another goal or set of goals. You get everything you want until you want more or something different.

So what’s your take? Can you really have it all at the same time? Is it possible to be completely happy with who you are and what you have AND have all of what your heart desires all at one moment of time?

Questions- Compromises and Sacrifices

  If you have ever been laid off, fired, or decided to shift gears in your career, you know firsthand how difficult it is to find a job. And after you find that one, you do your best to give it your all and to keep that, right? But what happens when you witness some things that shouldn’t be happening? Do you speak up and risk losing your job? Do you find somewhere else to work, knowing that it might take a long time? My big picture question is this- should you compromise your values and beliefs for your career?

On a slightly different note, many people make sacrifices every day for their job. Maybe you’re not getting the amount of money you want. Maybe it’s not in the prime location you want it to be. Maybe you can’t stand working with customers, but your coworkers help the day go by. Whatever the case may be, the pros must outweigh the cons if you make it in to work every day. But what about those things that keep you up at night, or the things that leave a bad taste in your mouth?

 

I want to hear from my readers… How much should you sacrifice? How do you cope? Or if you are happy where you are, how did you get there?

Reason Being

  Everything and everybody should have purpose. Purpose is important because it is the reason that you get up and do things. The reason why you are with someone. The reason why you work towards something.

Everything happens for a reason. I am a firm believer in that. And, people are in your life for a reason as well. If somebody’s there just to be there then they have no purpose. What I mean is, if they are draining you mentally, physically, financially, emotionally- they have no purpose and they gotta go.

What’s the point of holding on to something or somebody who isn’t drawing interest or carrying any weight? Why are you holding yourself back from reaching your goals, or your potential? You are maximizing your time and effort and overall purpose to contribute to something or somebody who has made no contribution to your life. And for what?

Think about this… Where would you be if you let go of your ex or that one person you want to be with so bad but it’s not mutual? Where would you be if you reorganized your space (in your mind, body, soul, and physical space)? Who knows, you could be inadvertently blocking your blessing because you’re comfortable where you are, don’t want to have hurt feelings, or simply scared of the unknown. Stop it. Reevaluate your life. I’m willing to bet that there’s something or someone there that shouldn’t be.

Personally, I am all about purpose. People who know me have heard me say, “ What is his/her purpose” or “That has no purpose” time and time again. But here’s the thing. I need to know why you’re in my life, and if you shouldn’t be, then you won’t be. I don’t care how that sounds because it’s the truth. I spent many a day carrying unnecessary baggage only to lose part of my life and create unwanted stress. And at the end of the day, I had nothing to show for it. I don’t want or have ‘just because’ friendships. You’re either a friend or you’re not. If we’re associates, we’re talking because we’re cool and there is a reason we keep in touch. You add some type of purpose or joy to my life and I WANT you there. If you get cut off, the cons outweigh the pros and it must be for the best.

My best advice for all is to seriously evaluate all aspects of your life. Clean out your closet, so to speak. Get rid of everything and everybody who doesn’t bring any value to your life. I guarantee you will feel like a brand new person. And don’t just do this once. Constant reevaluation takes practice, but it prevents unneeded stress and it’s well worth it.

Diamonds and Pearls

  Can a person really have it all? When I say “all”, I mean love, job, money, family, friends, and happiness. Absolutely not. One of those categories will be lacking at some point or another. Whether you have the perfect job and single, friends and family with no money, you get the picture.

Now before you go on saying that I am a pessimistic, I would like you to fully read this article and realize that I am instead a realist. Just telling it like it is.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to point out something to you first and foremost. Just because a person is rich, does not make them happy.  Think about it, a lot of these mega million lottery winners get stressed out dealing with all that money and can’t handle it. Some of these mega million stars have all kinds of depression too. Having money does not make a person immune to problems and it certainly doesn’t hold you tight at night.

Also, just because a person has friends and family does not mean that they could never feel lonely or unhappy. There’s a big difference between being alone and feeling alone. You could have twenty close friends that live within a ten mile radius, but if you feel lonely, that wouldn’t make a bit of difference. You can have all the loving people surrounding you in the world and still not be happy.

Or, what if you have the perfect job? You absolutely love your job and love what you’re doing. Wouldn’t everything else fall into place? Not necessarily. Even the perfect job has its perks and downfalls, but even so, that does not guarantee that you would be happy with every other aspect of your life (for example, your home life dulls in comparison to your work life).

I guess the bottom line is to find a happy medium. Do whatever makes you happy first, and then everything else might fall into place. That’s my challenge to you and to myself. Good luck!

Separate But Equal

  The top two reasons behind a couple’s divorce are money and infidelity. In regards to money, you have one or two people in the marriage who: a. don’t know how to handle money (spend beyond their means, gamble it away, don’t know how to balance a checkbook, etc.); or b. people who just don’t give a damn and just spend whatever they make (or don’t make). Debt is nothing to play with and not even remotely cute, because what happens is when you say “I do”, your debt becomes our debt.

What I’m hearing more and more when it comes to married couples is separate and joint bank accounts is the way to go. This seems ideal because each person has their own “play” money to do whatever you want, and then you have the joint account where you can pay bills together, pay the mortgage, plan vacations, have a rainy day fund, you get my drift. I blogged before on how important financial stability is, especially the way the economy is today. Nothing is guaranteed and you cannot take anything for granted. You must have a savings, checking, and a 401k/retirement account. Prepare yourself for the future, not just for the day or the week. And when you consider marriage, plan for your family. It won’t be about you anymore. I said it before and I will say it again, a person who spends before they make or spends more than they make is immature. Plan for the future and plan for the unexpected!

So what did you learn today… before getting into a committed relationship, consider what type of spender you are. Review the first paragraph, and if you are either a. or b., do yourself and your potential partner a favor and do not commit to a relationship. If you are a person committed to a person like this, be very careful and try not to end up as a statistic {close to fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce}.

Top Five Things NOT to Say to an Unemployed Person

For starters, if you have never been in this unfortunate position, you would not completely understand the dynamics of the situation. Whether you are laid off, fired, looking for a new job, or whatever your situation is, the opportunities out there are slim pickings and have been for some time. It is frustrating enough to get an interview, much less a secure job, but there are some things that people say to you that simply do not help this process.

5. “You didn’t like your last job, so you got what you wanted.” Nobody asks to be broke. Getting out of a bad situation is ideal, of course, but landing in a worse one would definitely not be considered the grand prize. I know what you’re saying, but this does not help.

4. “Damn, you haven’t found nothing yet?” Self-explanatory.

3. “What have you been doing?” Well, I’ve just been propped up in bed, eating ice cream, tuned in to Jerry Springer, and watching the days whiz by. People don’t realize how insulting this question is. Just because I’m at the crib, doesn’t mean that I haven’t been productive in my job search. We do live in the age of technology and most jobs require your resume to be emailed or they have you do an online application. Would it make you feel better if I went to the library and applied on their computer instead of using mine at home?

2. “At least it’s a job.” Accepting whatever job in order to pay the bills is last resort. The goal is to find either the same job as the last or better, not settling. Would you say the same if you were talking about a person? “At least you’ve got a boyfriend.” NO. This is a no-win line. Yeah, you have a job, but you probably have to sacrifice your sanity and happiness.  This rationale does not work for everybody.

And, once you finally secure some kind of job, what’s the worst thing that you can hear?

1. “Your check has not been processed yet.” Need I say more?

So, what did you learn today… Unless you have something productive to say, such as “So and so is hiring”, “I can write you a recommendation”, or “My friend so-so can pass on your name/resume”, don’t talk.