There comes a time when all of the negativity from your life simply disappears and happiness creeps in with a vengeance.
+ Win first place (or even just place)
+ Graduation
+ Birth of a child
+ Wedding
+ See the light at the end of the tunnel after a struggle
+ Visit a friend or family member after you haven’t seen them in a long time
+ Completion
+ Newness (ex. new house, job, etc.)
+ Closure
+ Peace
+ Family and true friends
+ Realizing how blessed you are
Never Too Late to…
– Apologize
– Pray
– Seek religion
– Say thank you
– Show or voice your appreciation
– Turn a bad day into a good one
Never Too Much of…
+ Saying I Love You
+ Saying what you feel
+ Giving thanks
+ Hugging and kissing
+ Kindness
+ Cheesecake
Never Leave the House Without
= Saying I Love You to someone you love
= Clean draws
= A couple of dollars
= Key (maybe even your I.D.)
= Letting someone know where you’re going (you never know)
= Having a purpose
Image: Dreamstime
Part Two of ‘The Company We Keep’ type of blogs focuses on the friendship between men and women (Part One was “Friendly Skies.” Check it out if you missed it last week.).
“He’s just my friend.” “We grew up together.” “She’s my ace boon coon.” Here’s the million dollar question: Can men and women be platonic friends or are they people we haven’t screwed yet (as Chris Rock stated in one of his shows)? Yes, men and women have the potential to be platonic friends, but there are some unspoken “rules” that should be easy to follow if you are truly platonic friends.
– Age is important. For instance, a man meets a woman at thirty and wants to be friends, versus a boy meeting a girl at age ten. Personally, I believe that the boy wants to be platonic friends, but the thirty-year-old man wants a friend with benefits. It’s rare to meet true friends later on in life, unless you run in the same circle or they are a coworker. But then the question would be are they a friend or an associate (*new topic for a future blog).
– He/She is facially challenged. It’s so much easier to keep a friend of the opposite sex if they are not attractive (physically or sexually). Along the same lines, there’s no attraction when you think of the person as a brother or a sister. Either situation leaves you and him/her platonic as hell!
– You can call or text any time you feel like it. Not. Platonic single friends can call whenever you feel like it. Someone breaks in and you can’t sleep, call your boy at 3am. Who cares. You need a plus one, call your girl a couple days before so they get themselves together. These things can’t go down when you’re in a relationship. Then it’s, why is so and so calling so damn late? Why are they always calling you to hang out? In order to keep it looking as innocent as it really is, you have to be respectable to yourself and your relationship. When in doubt ask, “If it were the other way around, how would I feel” question before you act (or react).
*Bonus question: Does your mate have the right to tell you to give up a friend just because they are the opposite sex? Even if they have no evidence of anything going on? Leave your answer in the comments section.
Yeah, you know how to finish this sentence- Once a cheat, always a cheat. But is there any validity to it?
Say for instance you are dating a guy that you don’t see a future with and you cheat. But then you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with and you keep your legs closed. I guess the moral of this story is that people can change, especially due to the circumstances. Do I believe ‘people can change’ in every situation, hell no. I’m talking about the person who steps out of bounds once. If they admit their mistake and spend the rest of their days making it up to the person they’re with, it could possibly work out. The key is are they sorry for their actions or are they sorry they got caught. There’s a huge difference.
Am I defending cheaters? Absolutely not, but I’m merely playing devil’s advocate because I’ve been on both sides of the fence- the victim and the perpetrator. Have I cheated on every person I’ve been in a committed relationship with? Absolutely not. That’s what I mean by circumstances.
On the other hand, people are greedy and a lot of times, they don’t care about the person they’re with. These are the people who are serial cheaters. They do it because they don’t give a f*** and keep doing it no matter the consequences. The only time they are sorry is if they get caught. And do they get caught…always. May not be today, but it catches up eventually. These are the people that look out for their own needs and don’t see themselves stopping any time soon or for anybody.
Does cheating count when you have an open relationship? Does cheating count when you tell your partner that you will not be faithful to them?
My ultimate question to you is: If the shoe was on the other foot, would you believe the age old saying?
It takes up to eighty muscles to laugh and you can lose about 1.3 calories per minute. There are so many benefits to laughing, so why don’t we do it more? Here are twelve reasons why laughing should be part of our daily intake.
+ Sometimes we laugh to keep from crying.
+ It feels damn good.
+ Pathetic people want to irritate you on purpose. Instead of getting mad, laugh them off or laugh in their face. Whichever makes you feel better.
+ Some don’t know how to be happy, so they make others miserable. Don’t give in. Rise above their misery and laugh because you refuse to join them.
+ It’s good exercise.
+ Because you can. Take advantage of that.
+ Because you’re blessed.
+ Because you’re happy.
+ Because you truly accept happiness in your life.
+ You feel like you deserve to be happy.
+ Out of nervousness.
+ Cause it’s funny.
This is probably one of my favorite months of the year. My birthday, family and friends gathering, and Christmas all wrapped in a bow. The snow sucks, but other than that, it’s a great time of year and closer to ringing in a new one.
Each family celebrates Christmas and Christmas Eve differently. I’d just like to share some of those Christmas Eve traditions. Feel free to add your own.
+ Open one gift
+ Make homemade gifts and present them
+ Family dinner and swap family stories
+ Twist in dinner menu- instead of turkey or ham, have steak or Chinese
+ Go to church
+ Make something together as a family (ex. cookies, pie, gingerbread houses)
+ Have a movie marathon (Christmas or family theme)
+ Do some charity work
This is a time for family and giving. Make sure you are “giving love at Christmas,” to quote the Temptations. Enjoy your holiday. Give from the heart. Be safe and be merry.
A lot of times, people fear becoming the grouchy old person that people hate (and the hate is definitely mutual) because they constantly fuss about things that they don’t like. I’m not one of those people. Slowly but surely my tolerance level has become more and more like a grouchy old person’s, and quite frankly, I don’t give a damn. There are some words and phrases that if I didn’t hear them ever again, I would be on top of the world! Here are the top six most annoying words or phrases that I want to go away ASAP (and this time they are ranked in order).
#6. “Something of that nature”- This may be because an old boss that I didn’t care for used to say this all the time. When this is said in every other sentence, it would bother you too.
#5. “Copacetic”- This is something else I heard constantly repeated and now I hate. This word needs to disappear for LIFE.
#4. “Twerk”- First of all, Miley Cyrus did not invent this. I wish people would stop acting brand new. Obviously, they’ve never seen Strawberry work the pole on Saturday nights. This word is overrated and it’s annoying how now people want to show that they can do it too. Sit down and stop it. As far as I’m concerned, leave it to the professional strippers and stop posting bare-assed pictures of yourself doing this foolishness.
#3. “Keep it 100” or “Keep it real”- If you’re being real, you shouldn’t have to point it out.
#2. “Turn up”- This is one of the most annoying trends off all time. How ‘bout ‘turn off?’
#1. “Must be nice”- This drives me up a wall. Basically, instead of saying, “I’m jealous,” this is a way to pretty it up and it gets on my nerves. Try something a little more positive, you ass.
What would you add?
Weddings are (mostly) beautiful and intimate. But most of all, they are expensive. The last thing an engaged couple needs to worry about is inviting everybody and their mama- literally. Having been through the process recently, I’d like to give a little advice for those who are going through the process themselves. It can be overwhelming trying to figure out who stays on the list and who goes, but the following people should definitely not get a second thought. Here are the top five people to never invite to your wedding.
1. Your jealous friend or “frenemy”… if this is a fake friend or someone who is not truly happy for you taking this major step in your life, they don’t need to be a part of it. You need to reconsider the nature of your friendship and if this person deserves to be in your life.
2. Your ex… your past has no business being invited into your future. Period.
3. Someone you hardly know… this could be a long lost relative, a coworker, or someone you’ve only known for a month. You are paying for their plate of food. And for what?
4. A friend of a friend… you don’t even know them for real! You know them through someone else. How intimate is that?
5. Estranged parents… I understand that this may be harsh, but if your parent hasn’t been a parent and a part of your life, why would you include them in your special day? I’m not talking about you having a fight and you haven’t talked to your mom or dad in a week or two. I’m talking three plus years. They won’t be able to spot you on the street type of deal. You have to be selective in who’s involved in your special day, so save your uninvolved parent invite for a family reunion.
Years ago, I took a class in Marriage & Other Intimate Relationships. Being the lover that I am of psychology and sociology, I was drawn to learn what makes people tick and whatever else I could learn about relationships as a whole. One night in particular, we discussed an aspect of sexuality that I never saw as an issue. Masturbation.
The question was: Is it considered cheating if you masturbate while you’re in a monogamous relationship (I’m not counting dating, just committed relationships and married couples)?
My immediate response was no. I didn’t see what the big deal was and I still don’t. For example, say your partner is out of town and you’re feeling a little frisky. Should you wait until they come back or handle your business? Am I saying that whenever you feel the urge, you should go solo? No. You should always turn to your spouse first. All I’m saying is that I don’t think it’s wrong to take care of yourself from time to time.
There was one lady in my class that got really heated during the conversation. We didn’t go back and forth (she did that with someone else though), but we definitely didn’t see eye to eye. She saw it as cheating because “his sperm belonged to me.” Yes, she actually said that. She went on to say that her husband should only have sex with her and nothing or nobody else.
Like I said, I never saw it as a big thing, just as long as it’s not out of control or obsessive. What are your thoughts? Do you view masturbating as cheating?
Everything and everybody should have purpose. Purpose is important because it is the reason that you get up and do things. The reason why you are with someone. The reason why you work towards something.
Everything happens for a reason. I am a firm believer in that. And, people are in your life for a reason as well. If somebody’s there just to be there then they have no purpose. What I mean is, if they are draining you mentally, physically, financially, emotionally- they have no purpose and they gotta go.
What’s the point of holding on to something or somebody who isn’t drawing interest or carrying any weight? Why are you holding yourself back from reaching your goals, or your potential? You are maximizing your time and effort and overall purpose to contribute to something or somebody who has made no contribution to your life. And for what?
Think about this… Where would you be if you let go of your ex or that one person you want to be with so bad but it’s not mutual? Where would you be if you reorganized your space (in your mind, body, soul, and physical space)? Who knows, you could be inadvertently blocking your blessing because you’re comfortable where you are, don’t want to have hurt feelings, or simply scared of the unknown. Stop it. Reevaluate your life. I’m willing to bet that there’s something or someone there that shouldn’t be.
Personally, I am all about purpose. People who know me have heard me say, “ What is his/her purpose” or “That has no purpose” time and time again. But here’s the thing. I need to know why you’re in my life, and if you shouldn’t be, then you won’t be. I don’t care how that sounds because it’s the truth. I spent many a day carrying unnecessary baggage only to lose part of my life and create unwanted stress. And at the end of the day, I had nothing to show for it. I don’t want or have ‘just because’ friendships. You’re either a friend or you’re not. If we’re associates, we’re talking because we’re cool and there is a reason we keep in touch. You add some type of purpose or joy to my life and I WANT you there. If you get cut off, the cons outweigh the pros and it must be for the best.
My best advice for all is to seriously evaluate all aspects of your life. Clean out your closet, so to speak. Get rid of everything and everybody who doesn’t bring any value to your life. I guarantee you will feel like a brand new person. And don’t just do this once. Constant reevaluation takes practice, but it prevents unneeded stress and it’s well worth it.
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