Archives

If the World was Mine

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????  Could you have it all? Everything you ever wanted, all at the same time? Is it possible to have your dream job, a perfect marriage with mind blowing sex (and lots of love), the right amount of money to live comfortably (or the rich lifestyle, if that’s what you prefer), the perfect kids and house all at the same time?

The pessimist (or as I prefer to call it, realist) in me says no. For years, I was happy with my job, making a nice amount of money, and couldn’t find a decent man to date. It’s always everything BUT–something was always missing. Then there was another time, where I had a great relationship, no job and not much money, and situational depression. Was there ever a time in my life where I’ve had it all? Not a chance.

The optimist in my husband says yes, but with a twist. He believes that you can have all you want, all at the same time, but eventually what you want changes. For instance, say your goal is to buy a condo once you save up enough money and land that managerial position you’ve been patiently waiting on. Once you accomplish that goal, you formulate another goal or set of goals. You get everything you want until you want more or something different.

So what’s your take? Can you really have it all at the same time? Is it possible to be completely happy with who you are and what you have AND have all of what your heart desires all at one moment of time?

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I’m On My Grown Man

grown  Does age really determine maturity? For instance, if a boy turns eighteen, is he automatically a man? What about twenty-one? What if you are fifty and you don’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of… are you still grown?

Personally, I think the term is thrown around a little too carelessly. I don’t think age should determine your “grown man” status, I think it should be your maturity level and what you do with your life. Whether your priorities are straight or not. For example, if you put rims on your car and still live in your mother’s basement, you’re not grown. If you use grocery money to buy a pair of shoes or to get a mani-pedi, guess what?

So what exactly does being ‘grown’ mean? Paying your bills on time. Owning something (real estate/land, business). Taking care of your business (before pleasure). Taking care of your children (first). To me, if you turn eighteen or twenty-one, that doesn’t automatically make you grown. Yes, you are legal, but unless you are taking care of yourself financially and physically, you are not as grown as you think you are. Who cares how much money, cars, jewelry, or clothes you have. The question is, do you have enough to provide for yourself and child(ren)? Do you have enough for your mortgage or rent? How much do you have in your savings account? Do you report to work everyday on time (and actually work)?

Ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately we live in a society where standards are extremely low. Women, we rely on men to take care of us and when we come up short, accept any ol’ thing just to have a warm body laying next to us at night. We deserve better than that. Take care of yourselves and learn how to be independent. When a man worthy of your time comes around, then you may step aside and let him be a man.  Men, some of you have have lost your damn mind and want a woman to take care of you like your mama. You are supposed to protect and provide, like Steve Harvey says. Stand on your own two feet and stop allowing (or should I say ‘expecting’) women to provide for you. Man up and get your grown man on.

Just Don’t Do It

mess  A couple of years ago I blogged about not leaving the house wearing certain things. Since I’m seeing more and more craziness as the weather gets warmer, this bears repeating.

 

– Pajamas: These are meant for the bed. I don’t understand why this is so hard to understand. How bout this– if you leave the house with the same pajamas on that you wore last night, all that tells me is that you didn’t bathe before you left house and you don’t care who knows.

 

– Slippers: Do I even need to explain?

 

– Shower caps/ doo rags/ bonnets: All of these serve the purpose of the privacy of your own home.

 

– Beaters: Beaters are fine to wear under things, but as your only shirt…. not attractive, even if you have muscles.

 

– Ity Bity Shorts: If I mistake your shorts for draws, you shouldn’t wear them out.

 

– Cowboy boots and shorts: Or cowboy boots in the summer period. Put them damn things up. For good.

 

What did I miss?

Power of the People?

c2  Ever since elementary school, I had to explain to people (not of African descent) about my hair. As a child, other children always wanted to touch it and wondered why it could stick up or out on its own. As a teen, other teenagers wondered how I could keep curls in my head, get it styled differently every other week, or why I didn’t wash my hair every other day. As an adult, apparently, other adults want to know by my hair being braided, is it tight enough to smooth out wrinkles (even though I’m not old enough for wrinkles, but that’s beside the point).

 

Why is African American hair such a novelty to people? Those of you who are reading this who are not of African descent, please understand two things: a). the one person you are talking to does not speak for their whole culture; b). if you have questions, please carefully formulate them in your head before speaking, because sometimes the comments and/or questions sound very ignorant and immature. Case in point, I had a grown woman ask me the wrinkles question (the one I talked about above) and then her and her friend went on about how Black people’s skin was so beautiful and did eating better than Caucasian people combined with no stress keep our skin looking so good. I was embarrassed for them. Both women are older than me. Both women are educated. And both women are too old to be comfortable enough to voice such foolishness aloud.

 

My point is this. It is okay to not know something about another person’s culture. Nobody knows every single thing about another person’s culture. And it is okay to ask questions, but it goes back to my point a minute ago… a). the ONE person you are talking to does not and cannot speak for their whole culture; b). formulate those questions and comments in your head first.

 

Does anyone have a similar story?

Never Say Never

flowers

Never Too Late to…

– Apologize

– Pray

– Seek religion

– Say thank you

– Show or voice your appreciation

– Turn a bad day into a good one

 

Never Too Much of…

+ Saying I Love You

+ Saying what you feel

+ Giving thanks

+ Hugging and kissing

+ Kindness

+ Cheesecake

 

Never Leave the House Without

= Saying I Love You to someone you love

= Clean draws

= A couple of dollars

= Key (maybe even your I.D.)

= Letting someone know where you’re going (you never know)

= Having a purpose

S. O. S.

life saver  Why is it so difficult to ask for help? Some people don’t because their pride gets in the way.

Some don’t because they want to have all of the glory in saying that they managed all by themselves. Some are just too scared to (for whatever reason that may be). And some may believe that it’s a “giving up” or failure gesture. Whatever your reasoning is behind it is ultimately stubbornness. Everybody needs help every now and then, and some more than others. But if you need it, speak up! Don’t wait until you sink. What if it’s too late then?

Why is it easier to help someone instead of asking for it for yourself? Some people like to give more than they like to receive. Some like to shift the focus off of themselves. And some like the sense of accomplishment or like to feel good afterwards. There’s nothing wrong with selfless acts. In fact, all people should add a lil altruism in their life.

Why is it tit for tat? I can understand how it could be if there was a person asking for assistance ALL the time and never giving. That gets tired real quick. Then when you stop giving, they get mad. Everybody’s gotta do their share. Don’t be that guy or girl who can never do for themselves and want people to do FOR you, or else you will start coming up short!

What about the people who ask for or complain about not receiving any help- but don’t use what they get? What is your purpose, or better yet, what is the point? I hate it when people do this. It’s like they want to test the waters to see if you’ll come through. Please stop wasting people’s time and energy- it’s annoying.

In any type of relationship (friendship, business, kinship, or personal relationship), you should have equal give and take. Asking for and accepting help may be difficult for some, but it’s a part of life. Take a good look at each of your relationships and make sure that you are equally balanced. If not, that will be where most of the stress lies.

Isn’t it Funny

bear  It takes up to eighty muscles to laugh and you can lose about 1.3 calories per minute. There are so many benefits to laughing, so why don’t we do it more? Here are twelve reasons why laughing should be part of our daily intake.

+ Sometimes we laugh to keep from crying.

+ It feels damn good.

+ Pathetic people want to irritate you on purpose. Instead of getting mad, laugh them off or laugh in their face. Whichever makes you feel better.

+ Some don’t know how to be happy, so they make others miserable. Don’t give in. Rise above their misery and laugh because you refuse to join them.

+ It’s good exercise.

+ Because you can. Take advantage of that.

+ Because you’re blessed.

+ Because you’re happy.

+ Because you truly accept happiness in your life.

+ You feel like you deserve to be happy.

+ Out of nervousness.

+ Cause it’s funny.